DreamLand V 2.0
Twilight's Child Book 2 - Healing

OoOoo There is Always Room 4 More


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It had hit me hard. Buffy had died and she had come back. Not only that but she had come back and dug herself out of her own coffin. She had actually had to do that. My mind can't even comprehend that. I remembered what Cordelia went through with that vision but what Buffy must have gone through must have been 100 times worse. She must have been terrified and I wasn't there for her. I'm never there for her anymore.

I believed her lie when she said she didn't die. I should have known better. Buffy Summer's cannot lie and I sat there and listened to the words come out of her mouth. I paid no attention to her at all. Had I done so I would have seen how skinny she was, the shadows under her eyes, the pain that was in her eyes. She was the girl in Cordy's vision, who tried to cut herself. What was I doing? Watching my child being born. Why did she try to cut herself? Probably because of me, because of what I told her that night, what I had said. Those stupid words that had come out of my mouth that I didn't mean. She didn't know that I didn't mean it and I had never apologized and she had tried to cut herself, perhaps kill herself. The guilt was eating me up and what was I doing? Hiding and brooding.

The days seemed to drag on, even though it had only been three days. Wesley had suggested that Cordelia stay at home for a day or two to rest, considering that she had never had a tramatic vision like that before.

However, Buffy had overheard him tell her this and took off for her room. We haven't seen her since. In fact the only person she did see was Will and that was because he brought Conner to her. Even Will confessed that she wasn't talking to him. We were all very worried. The stress in the building was mounting daily. Giles had told Faith to go back to Sunnydale and make sure there was nothing going on over there and the Scoobies were all glancing at each other like there was a big conspiracy going on. Xander was giving Willow nasty looks. The blond girl whom I found out was named Anya and about to be married to Xander. Never thought that would have happened. Anya, stayed by his side, actually more like stuck to his side like glue. Giles or maybe I should say Ripper would either be looking at Willow with hatred in his eyes or be trying to talk Buffy into coming downstairs. Willow on the hand was constantly whispering "Its all my fault", and I kept thinking, why is that?

They would just walk away from me, when I would come close enough to ask what happened. This would piss me off. This is my hotel damnit.

The only person I could get an answer from was Tara. Maybe this was because she didn't know me. She seemed to be a shy woman, but I liked her instantly. She was very loyal to Willow and the rest of the gang. The only thing she would tell me and she hesitated and looked around like she was afraid to and she whispered ever so quietly, "You have to understand, Angel. She loved her." With that she walked up the stairs. That didn't help me at all.

Will came down the stairs carrying Conner and handed him over to Darla. I saw her wince when she took him. Lately I have been wondering about her. She hesitantly smiled and looked my way. Conner on the other hand decided to scream.

They have not bonded it was obvious, but from what one of those children's books said. It may take awhile. She's 400 years old I have to give her some credit; hell she shouldn't know what to do. I sure as hell don't.

Wesley and Giles have been studying day and night on how Conner was born and they have come up with nothing. On top of everything there is Gunn. He refuses to talk to me and last night he took Will on a case. We had a paying customer. Some demon gang stalking a warehouse by the docks. He automatically asked Will to go along. They come back acting like best friends. He has never once treated me like his best friend.

I finally asked Will about his so called soul and he looked me in the eyes and said "Buffy got to live if I took a soul from the female Oracle" I was too stunned to say anything and he started up a conversation with Fred.

A soulless demon gave up everything? I don't understand and I probably wont.

Conner is still screaming.

"Darla would you like me to take him". I ask her. I can almost see the relief on her face.

"No I have him. I'm, his mother, he has to learn who I am", she said.

"And who's that Darla? A Cold hearted Bitch? Oh my bad, I forgot you have a soul", Buffy said walking down the stairs. Her voice was laced with bitterness.

We all looked up at her in surprise.

Will ran up the stairs to meet her half way.

Buffy, Its good to see that you're, up and around", Giles said with a huge grin on his face. I could tell he was happy to see her. However she didn't look so good. I got up and headed her way.

Buffy just snorted. "Whatever I'm just hungry. That happens ya know when you become a human blood bank" I flinched and stopped walking. I heard Darla laugh and she muttered "Poor little girl". I turned to look at her she was grinning.

I had the biggest urge to slap that grin off her face. How can she be grinning? It wasn't funny at all, Buffy was going through something awful and Darla should understand this.
By the time I looked back at Buffy she was gone, but what she left in her place were the hatred glares of the Scooby Gang. Except Tara who was looking at me with compassion and understanding. I didn't deserve her pity.

Conner was still screaming.

"Darla cant you even shut him up", Buffy yelled walking back in with a sandwich in her hand. "Some mom you are. Your child doesn't even want to be around you," she snorted.

"Now listen up, Darla snarled, she vamped out.

"Look you leave Buffy alone, you she Bitch, Willow yelled

"Yes, please stand up for me Willow, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here in this HELL, Buffy yelled.

It erupted from there, Willow started crying, everyone started yelling at each other but I watched as Buffy walked up the stairs with a smile on her face. She intentionally started that.

"Well mate, welcome to my world that is Buffy" Will said.

I turned to look at him and I saw that he was looking at her as well.

"Your not surprised, that she did this," I asked?

"Not a bit", he smiled. For the first time in forever I remembered that William had a nice smile.

"She's acting out. She's hurting. It's her way of dealing with this. I'm afraid this is going to get worse. This is nothing compared to the act she did with her dads", he grinned.

I looked at him and frowned. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

He shook his head. "The girl should get an Oscar, she can really act sometimes", he grinned remembering the performance.

"Uh.. Ya ok.." I just nodded having no clue what he was talking about.

"You will just have to talk to her about it" he said before walking off.

I grabbed Conner from Darla and he quieted down almost instantly.

"I'm sorry little man, she is your mama, ya know. You do need to bond with her". I whispered. Conner scrunched his nose up I walked upstairs and headed to our room. I sighed when I walked in. The furniture had arrived. I cannot believe she bought it all. I cannot repay her and she wont even let me get close enough to thank her.

The furniture had arrived yesterday and Darla had a fit when she found out that it had been a present from the Slayer. She was livid and I had to calm her before she tried to break everything. I couldn't help it; everything Buffy and I picked out was adorable. I ran those words over in my head. Buffy and I, we picked this furniture set out for Connor and he wasn't ours. I sat down with Conner in a new Rocking Chair. I do have to say these are more comfortable. I don't think I will ever get use to rocking Conner. It's a pleasure, one that I never thought I would ever have.

I hold him up so he's on my shoulder and breathe in. I love the smell of him and I smell Buffy. She's all over him. I hold him out so I can see him. Sometimes when I look into those green eyes I swear I'm seeing her but that's impossible so I have to laugh it off. I gently rock him when I hear a knock at the door.

"Come in", I call out.

It's Cordelia. I'm a little surprised I didn't think she would be back so soon and that she would be looking me up.

She smiles. "Hey" she whispers and takes a seat on the bed. I haven't seen that smile in awhile.

We sit like this for a while neither one of saying a word. She's eying the baby.

"Would you like to hold him," I ask holding him out for her.

She shakes her head no. "I'm sorry Angel, I'm still a little shaky and I wouldn't want to drop him".

"I just dropped by to see how Buffy was doing and Will says she's asleep, but I have a feeling she's not", Cordy said. I just nodded. Will was telling that to everyone who wants to talk to her. "I thought I would drop by and say hi".

"Hi" I whispered.

She got up and headed for the door. I had to ask.


She turned around .


"How did you know it was Buffy" I asked?

"I didn't," she said.

I frowned.

"But you said you did" I was confused?

"I didn't know who the girl was at first and I didn't know who she was at the end either. I just recognized the ring but I never saw the girl in my vision" she said with a smile.

"Huh" I'm 250 years old and that's all I could come up with.

Her smile got wider. "Angel I have known you for 6 years and I have worked for you for 3 years and for that 4 years you have worn that particular ring on your finger. I have never seen a ring like that on Buffy's finger before so I had no idea it was her, but the ring in my vision matched yours perfectly. Plus there was the coffin thing. There was the vision with the girl who took out the 15 vamps and a British guy with her. Buffy shows up with Will. A supposed dead girl and a British guy. I went to Buffy's funeral Angel, I saw her get lowered into the grown. I know she died. There was no faking the looks of grief on the gang's faces. I saw Dawn and Giles. Willow looked like she had gone insane. Even Spike was crying", she said.

"Spike was there," I said startling Conner?

She nodded. "They had made special arrangements so that you and Spike could both be there. She had wanted you both there. I was actually frightened when I saw Spike there but Dawn had said that Buffy would have wanted Spike there because he had promised Buffy that he would protect her till the end of time and you Angel never showed", she whispered.

"That's why they hate me", I said out loud.

"Ya, probably, that and they probably have other reasons but I don't want to know about right now, but I don't blame them about the funeral Angel. She was the love of your life and you never showed up They probably told her. From what I gathered from Xander before that demon snatched him up, she has been avoiding them since she woke up in the hospital" Cordy told me.

"Whoa, what demon and what hospital", I was confused and I was trying my best to avoid the tears. I had my reasons not to go to the funeral.

"The chick that Xander is marrying is that ex-vengeance demon. The one that I used to wish Buffy away that one time. Or where you still in hell? I really don't remember, and as for the hospital I don't know that's all he said, anyway I'm leaving", she said.

Xander the kid who had a problem with demons is marrying a demon? Now isn't that interesting. I can remember when he thrust a cross in my face and said at the end of the day I still think you're a vampire. Very interesting.

Cordy headed for the door.

"Thank you Cordelia," I said.

She didn't turn around but she whispered, "Angel you hurt me, you hurt Wesley and you hurt Gunn and God what you did to poor Fred. You saved her only to hurt her. You could have killed us if you lost your soul. Your living with Darla, doing god knows what. None of us believe she has a soul. I don't trust her. I don't trust you at the minute. I'm only here because of these damn visions and because it's the only thing I know these days. You are my family. You're like a brother to me Angel. You and Wes and Gunn and even Fred are the only family I have. I wouldn't want to lose you guys because you did something stupid."
She stopped for a few seconds and hesitated.

" Those people downstairs, now they did something stupid. They brought someone back from the dead. She's not right Angel. She's not the Buffy we knew, she's hiding, somewhere inside. She volunteered to nurse your child. The old Buffy would have thrown a tantrum and cried and probably hit you. This Buffy needs our help. I for one am going to help her. TPB gave me these visions for a reason and I'm going to help her" she said raising her voice

"Cordelia" I tried but she opened the door and walked out.

I stared at the door, she was right I had let her down. I had let them all down but I had Conner because of it. So did it make it right? Did I feel guilty because of it? No I don't, all I see is my precious gift, Conner. Its not like it was perfect happiness, she has to understand that. I never loved Darla, I never would. I only love Buffy.

"Somehow Ill make it up to them Conner", I look at Conner who was looking at me with trusting eyes. Trusting green eyes. I remember another set of green eyes that use to look at me with trust.

"Well Conner, it looks like we have a soul to save" Conner gave me a little smile.
"Oh geez Conner, again how many times do I have to change your diaper" I whispered into his tummy making him giggle?


Dawn walked back into the house and threw the mail onto the counter.

"Dad the mails here" and she walked upstairs.

Hank flipped through the mail and saw the credit card bill. He opened it and wondered what else Buffy had decided to buy. He was going to go broke.
He sighed and started to scan. She had stopped buying big items lately.
His heart stopped when he saw the bill. "What the Hell" he yelled! He scanned.. Baby cradle.. baby crib.. dresser. What the hell has Buffy done now?
He marched to the phone and called Sears he wanted to know exactly where this crap was delivered too. He was going to have a chat with his daughter.

"What's going on,"? Dawn ran downstairs.

"Do you see this", he threw the statement at Dawn. He was rambling on about Babies while he was on hold.

"Huh", she said?

"We are going to see your sister as soon as I find out where she is", he yelled.

"Oh, Buffy what did you do", she whispered?

I knocked on the door, I didn't want to wake them up but I felt like I needed to feed Conner. My breasts were sore. They seem to be heavier lately and for some reason they actually looked bigger. Funny but I actually look like a mom that's nursing her child.
No one answered and I knocked a little louder. Hell I was waking the dead.
I didn't want to wake Angel. We had been on pins and needles around each other lately. It had been a week since my accident. Ok since I took the pills. I really hadn't talked to anyone. I have been in my own world. Just needed time to think. Everyone wants to know how I am. Well how do they think I am?


I knock a little louder and I still get nothing. I didn't think I saw them downstairs, so I slowly open the door. I steel myself. I know that Angel and Darla are sleeping in the same bed.

They are sound asleep when I come in. My little green monster comes out when I see them together but I smile when I see he's on the opposite of the bed. Good!
She's such a bitch anyway. I walk over to where Conner is and I see he's awake.

"Hello, Little man", I whisper. I stick my finger on his little tummy and give him a little tickle. He giggles. As soon as he makes a noise my breast start to hurt. I guess I should as my watchers about this. I'm going to talk to them about taking him outside anyway and about training again. They should be happy that I'm starting to get out and about.
I pick up Conner and I take a Diaper and a blanket. He fits perfectly with me. If only he was mine.

I head towards the door and I hear Angel moan softly and I get a differently reaction from my body. I stop walking. I look over at the bed and I see that Angel has moved and the sheet has bared his chest. I stop breathing. It has been a long time since I have seen that. He is in perfect shape. I have to hand it to Darla; she's one lucky Bitch.

I couldn't help it though, I walk over to the bed and I take my fingers and I trace them across his chest and I hear him moan. I lean down to kiss him and he groans. I hear him whisper Buffy and a genuine smile appears on my face. I kiss him again and I walk out the door afraid to be caught. But before I go I hear him moan in protest.

What a way to start the day. I felt good this morning. Maybe this year was going to get better?

Good morning guys, I called out as I pass everyone. Everyone stopped talking. They just stared at me. I know I was in such a good mood.

"Giles, Wesley, I was wondering if I could start training again soon", I asked. Both men looked flabbergasted.

"Of course Buffy", Giles said smiling.

"Splendid" Wes said.

Everyone started talking outside. They were all happy that I had taken an interest in something. Blah it's just training. I'm bored.

"One more thing" I asked this should be fun.

"Can Conner go outside?" I asked.

All conversation stopped.

I moaned, she tasted like honey. I kissed her back. I groaned in protest when she left, I reached out for her and I grabbed her and pulled her close, my mind was fuzzy and I tried to wake up, I wanted to feel her warmth, but she was cold my mind registered.

I heard her moan and I started to suck on her neck.

"Lover" I heard her moan. My eyes snapped open and instantly I was wide awake. I stared in horror. This was Darla, but I could have sworn I was kissing Buffy.

"What the hell?" I whispered.

"Lover don't stop. It was just getting good." She grinned.

I hopped off her and thank God I still had my sweats on. I ran my hands through my hair and walked to the crib. Conner was gone.

I whirled around

"Darla, where is Conner," I demanded?

She shrugged and was pouting.

I looked around for any sign of him, but noticed that his blanket was also missing. Maybe Cordelia had taken him? Doubt it.

I quickly got dressed. "Are you coming", I asked her before walking out the door?

"Its still daylight Angel. We are vampires you know", she said with a pout.

I actually had to stop and stare at her.

"You do care that your son is missing right"?

For a moment I saw her hesitate and I saw the emotions play on her face. It almost
looked like she forced them on her face.

"Of course I do Angel, but I'm sure that the Watcher has him", she said and turned over and went back to sleep.

I sighed and ran downstairs.

I saw that no one was around. This is a work day right?

"Where did everyone go?" I asked aloud.

"Well mate, the boogie man took them", Will joked. I jumped. Damn when did he get so good at being stealthy.

He was standing behind me with a smirk on his face.

"Most of them are in the entertainment room", he grinned.

I was confused. "What entertainment room"?

He just looked at me.

He just walked away from me and I followed.

He opened a door and I saw with surprise that everyone looked like they had been cleaning.

"What's going on in here", I demanded. Damnit this is my hotel I should at least know what was going on.

They all jumped. It gave me some satisfaction. I quickly scanned the room. Buffy and Conner were not here. I frowned.

"Angel, we are making an entertainment room", Fred said pointing to the back of the room.
I looked and to my astonishment there were electronics of all sorts. There was a Tv, a DVD player, CD player, DVDs, The computer had been moved in here, speaker system, and furniture.

"We all pitched in", Willow said.

"We thought this would be a nice homey touch for Buffy," Tara added.

I nodded. "Why didn't anyone tell me? I would have liked to help". I was a little pissed. I was trying to get back into Buffy's good graces and this would have been a great way to have done it. Instead they all frowned at me. I don't think they want me and her together in any way.

"I'm sorry Angel, you were asleep and I didn't think to bother you with this, Cordelia said.
"Not even after our little talk, the other day", I asked her. I was hurt.

"I'm sorry Angel, I just didn't think you wanted to help, she told me.

I sighed, "Cordy I really do want to help Buffy".

I watched as everyone started smiling.

These people are smiling at me. They must be possessed by spirits. Maybe pod people.

"That's great Angel, because Buffy could use some you-ness" Xander said.

Oh defiantly pod people.


"Never mind" Willow said.

"You would have to understand Xander" Cordy said

Fat chance of that ever happening.

"Well the room looks nice. Have any of you seen my son" I asked them?

I saw them look down and some shuffled their feet. That's usually not a good sign. The only two people who looked happy where the watchers. That made me not happy at all.

"Its amazing Angel", Wesley said.

"Yes, you should be happy, Angel", Giles said

"Oh ya and why is that", I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

They basically took off in a run towards the courtyard. It was sunny I couldn't go out there. They stood right at the shadows and Giles went in the courtyard and Wesley said he would be right back. In a few minutes Giles came back. I was confused, but they told me to keep looking and I saw a blond head poke around the corner with a blanket.

There was Buffy, she had Conner outside. Conner could go outside! I started to shake. My child could go outside, he could live a normal life. He wouldn't burn. I felt hands grab me and I whispered, "I was ok". I felt them leave and heard the footsteps as they walked away.

I just sat on the floor and watched as Buffy sat there on the ground with Conner for a few minutes. I could here her talking to him as 'Clear as Day', but as usual she knew I was there because she turned to look at me. She actually smiled picked up Conner's hand and "Said wave to Daddy". I grinned. Then she told him "Connor that we should go in because we wouldn't want to get a sunburn on his first day in the sun".

I watched her in the sun with Conner and I wish that I could join her. It just reminded me that I couldn't give her a normal life, someone she could walk in the sun with. I thought she would take that when she found Riley. I don't even know why she's not with him. Well other than the fact that she died but maybe she should find him? She said she loved him right? Not that I'm not glad he's not here, hell I'm extremely glad that the idiot of a kids not around.

I hear Conner cooing and giggle and realize Buffy is better with Conner than Darla is. I hope that Buffy can find someone to be with one day. She still deserves to be happy. I just wish she could be with me. I still have a curse problem and I still cannot walk in the sun with her. This little happy scene just shows me, we cannot be together.

"Isn't it exciting" she says when she walks up to me. She has this happy little girl's voice. I haven't seen her like this since, well forever.

I couldn't help myself, I smiled down at her. "Ya" I whispered.

She thrust Conner at me and said "Your lucky Angel. Not everyone is as lucky as you are. You should take what's offered and run with it". And she walked away.
What was she talking about? Did she know what I was thinking?


Outside watching from the rooftop a man called Holtz and the demon who brought him to this time was sitting there watching the girl and the baby. They had been watching hotel for sometime now.

"She's not a vampire. However it looks as if she has some connection to Angelus, she seems to be taking care of the baby. Why Angelus hasn't killed the baby is beyond me, he must have plans for the child. He must have a hold over the girl and the others inside.", Holtz said.
The demon nodded. He was excited his plans were working.

"You are sure that Darla is there as well," Holtz asked?

The demon nodded.

"Perfect" he said and pulled a wicked dagger out. "Thank you, I wont be needing you anymore".

The demon looked confused and Holtz slit his throat.

"Thank you again, for bringing me here. As for you Angelus and Darla, your time is near", Holtz sneered.

Part 4 is rated NC-17

I watched her walk away.I looked down at Conner. His little face was flush from being out in the sun. I couldn't contain my excitement. I was nearly hopping up and down. I had a huge grin on my face and I rushed to where the others were. I noticed the two Watchers were going through books and I didn't bother to stop and ask what they were looking for. I wanted to share the good news with my family.

I opened the door and startled them again. By this time I noticed the room was almost complete. They were all smiling. Of course they already knew.

We are happy for you Angel", whispered Tara. However no one else said a word but they smiled just the same. My grin grew when Cordy came and gave me a smile hug. It wasn't the friendliest hug in the world but hell it was a start.

"Darla" I said. I watched as their smiles faded and they turned their backs on me.

"Wellâ¦.. um⦠she should know about this. She will be excited as I am." I told them.

I heard someone snort and a few giggles and someone said, "Hell would freeze over first".

I sighed and I took off for the room. She had the right to know. Sure she was acting strange lately and I never saw her. However she made it a point that she nursed as a family. I thought it was fascinating. I had never seen it before. Other than that Darla made it a habit not to spend time with the "Humans" as she called them. She said they got on her nerves. Granted they did tend to get on my nerves sometimes but they were young but they are my friends and family.

Her comments did seem to sting though. She wants nothing to do with anyone. In fact she has been disappearing. I know though she's only been drinking the blood from the butchers like Will and I have. I can smell it on her.

I walk in the door and she's half dressed.

"Oh wonderful you brought my sweet Conner", she snarled.

I startle at this.

"Sorry darling, but its time for him to feed", she said sweetly.

"Oh", I said handing him to her. He instantly started crying.

"Shhhh, mommy has you. Conner hush up", and she placed a breast in his mouth. I watched and it looked like Conner didn't want it.

"Darla maybe he's not hungry", I told her.

"Of course he is, look "she said.

In fact, Conner had started sucking but he looked like he didn't want to. I felt sorry for the little by but he fell asleep in a few minutes.

"He seems to feed less and less. Its that damn Slayers fault", she snarled.

I picked the baby up because she was getting angry.

"You know that Conner needs the blood Darla, or Buffy wouldn't be here. "I told her. That seem to appease her. I was glad Buffy was here and she was alive even thought it was under strange circumstances. There was nothing or anybody  that would make me get rid of her.

I climbed into bed with her and sat there holding Conner.

"I found out that Conner can go out in the sun," I told her.
She whipped her head around to me. For a moment I think she looked upset.

"Really?" She had returned the sunny smile on her face.

I nodded looking down at our son.

She leaned in for a kiss. I kissed her back. Funny thing was it didn't taste like the kiss this morning.

"Darla I'm sorry I just can't do this with you," I told her.

"Angel, honey we made a baby, I think we are past all this", and she reached down to rub my chest. I wont deny that it didn't feel good. The demon in me raged. She's my sire. She was with me for 150 years she knows exactly what and where to turn me on.

"Darla please don't, I have to go put Conner down", I told her hopping out of bed. I was actually panting.

"Damnit," I muttered. I do not want Darla, but a tiny voice said, she would fill those lonely nights up. It's not like your not going to lose your soul.

I laid Conner down in his bed and I sighed, I walked back over to Darla, she was a very tempting sight.

She had on silk gown with a black trim. The straps were loose off her shoulders so she could adjust them to nurse Conner and as it was she just left one Breast hanging out. As a vampire Darla didn't care. She was a whore when she started and she became a better whore in the 400 years of her undead life.Her hair was tousled. I could actually feel myself harden looking at her. I was ashamed of myself.

She smiled. I walked to the door and opened it.

"Where are you going Lover," she asked?

I froze. Her voice had changed. It was more of a woman's voice. After this morning I wasn't sure I could deny her. I open the door a little more.

"Angel, please come back. We made a beautiful child together." She said in a sultry voice. I could hear her walking towards me. Her hands wrapped around my waist.I turned to face her and she started licking my neck.

"Come on Lover, you know you want it", she whispered in between biting my neck.

That was the last straw. I threw her on the bed and I needed to feel.I ripped her gown into pieces.  I kissed her but never on the lips I wanted to feel but she could never give me love. Buffy's face kept popping up, I growled trying to get her face out of my head and vamped out. I reached for her breast and started sucking. I got a surprise with the milk. I heard Darla's hysterical laugh.

"So this is what my son's drinking", I muttered. It was actually gross. No wonder he didn't want it, but hell it was Darla. She started ripping my clothes off. I didn't care if she was ready of not. I entered her. I heard her gasp in pain but to her it was pleasure and I pounded in her. I lowered my fangs into her neck and sucked. God it had been awhile since I had felt my sire's blood. Darla did the same thing with me. I raised my head and as I growled Darla's name and Darla keened mine and I heard a small gasp at the door and heard the door shut and I closed my eyes and my heart shattered.

"No" I whispered this cant be happening.

Darla on the other hand was too busy laughing. "You should have shut the door, Dear Boy".

I may have just been the person to make her leave.
I gasped and Cordelia shut the door.

"Oh god", I started to hyperventilate.

"Oh Oh God he's gross" She couldn't get the words out. Not that I didn't blame her. There were no words for what we just witnessed.I had already drawn the wall up.

"I'm sorry Cordelia, I'm really tired. Do you mind if we don't go shopping right now maybe tomorrow", I asked her. My mind was blank. Almost like I was functioning like a robot. I didn't feel the tears but I could see the expression on Cordelia's face so I knew that they were there.

"Buffy, I'm so sorry", she whispered. I could see the tears in her eyes.

"Cordy, don't be sorry. The Buffy and Angel story was over long ago and he just proved it." I tried to smile but instead I just started sobbing.

She wrapped her arms around me and whispered something about Pizza and Ice cream. I nodded and dried my eyes. I looked at her.

"You've changed", I told you.

She grinned. "You too Buffy", she whispered.

"Hey how about Movies in the new Entertainment room" she asked?

I arched an eyebrow," The what" I asked?

"Come on. This wont make you forget but maybe it will make you feel better for a while. Personally I wont forget what I just saw," she said.

I looked in her eyes and I saw betrayal and hurt in there as well.

I gave her a hug and said "What was that about Pizza and do you think we can get extra garlic"?

"Maybe, you know I really hate that Bitch", she said.

"I'm right there with ya," I whispered as we walked to where the others were.

I quickly made sure that my eyes were dried before I walked in. However it didn't matter they all gave us suspicious looks. Especially Willow and Will, they knew me better. I just sighed I wasn't sure I was going to tell them what had happened and I looked over at Cordelia and she was getting the same looks from her friends.

We shared a quick look of disgust. She's thinking the same thing I am.

"What is all this", I asked getting them on a different subject.

"This my dear is all for you, Will said in a grand gesture.

I looked around confused, "What do you mean all for me", I asked?

Wesley spoke up and said "Well you are going to be here for a year, so we all chipped in to buy you a TV and a few extras to give you a homey touch. So you wouldn't get bored. I know that we are going to start your training soon, but Will mentioned that you liked watching movies, so um well here you goâ¦."

"Smooth," Gunn said. "Basically, we thought you would get bored with all the vamps in the house doing nothing but reading and Fred here needs to get caught up on her movies."

Cordy and I both flinched at that comment.

I placed a wonderful Julia Roberts smile on my face and said, "I cant thank you guys enough. This is wonderful". I went to each one of them and gave them a hug.
Even Willow, however it just reminded me that I should be DEAD.

"Well how about we watch a movie?" I grinned.

"All right, PIZZA", Gunn yelled.

I tried to grin but I just couldn't. I couldn't even make a smile.

"So what do you guys want to watch some romance, chick flick", Xander said.

I grimaced.

I was thinking more like the girl kills the guy.

"No how about a Comedy", I said in a small voice.

"Sure how about Rat Race", Xander said holding up the DVD.

"Is it funny?" I asked.

"Ya its hilarious. I saw it in the theaters", Gunn said.

I just nodded ok.

After we all got settled and the Pizza was ordered. Except for the Wesley and Giles. They were searching for three things. 1. How Conner was actually conceived. 2. Why he was human, sort of.  3. Why I was stronger and why I could cut myself and it would heal instantly. That and the fact that I was sure they didn't want to be with us because they had a bottle of English whisky sitting under the table. I grinned did they think that we were that dumb?

Will and Fred were sitting on the love seat, which I found interesting and Gunn and myself and Cordelia were sitting on the couch.

"Its not to often you get to pretty women between you", he grinned.

We slapped him on the head for fun.

Anya and Xander were sitting on the floor and Willow was sitting in a chair braiding Tara's hair.

We turned off the lights and we started watching the movie. As soon as it started most of us gasped. "Um, I have to point this out but does Oz have a twin?" well I had to do it.

Willow got up and snatched the control from Gunn's fingers and hit menu.

"Dude that's Seth Green," he said. Not understanding what was going on.

"Wow, he looks like Oz, but longer hair,", Xander said. We all nodded and continued to watch. I looked at Willow who stared at the screen. I watched as the emotions played out on her face. Maybe I should give her a break. She's dealt with a lot as well. I saw the tears fall down her face. I reached over to give her a hug and she hugged me back. I grinned and winked.

The door opened and Wesley walked in with the Pizza. " About time," Xander said.
We all dug in except Cordy and myself. I was still having a hard time and I tried paying attention to the movie. Every once in awhile I would look around and I noticed that Fred and Will were holding hands but he was looking at me with narrowed eyed. I grinned and gave him thumbs up. His eyes got smaller. I sighed; I'm not going to be able to hide it from him much longer.

The door opened again and this time it was Angel with Conner. I heard the soft coo and my breast started to ache and I gave a small whimper.

"Damnit" I whispered.

Angel's head turned to mine. Even with the lights off he knew exactly where I was.

I refused to acknowledge that he was there.

"Um⦠is there any room for us", he asked?

"NO," snapped Cordelia.

I snickered.

I didn't have to say it. I could see everyone was taken back so was he. He had no idea she saw everything like I did.

"Angel you can sit right there by Buffy," said Willow. She was grinning she thought she was doing a good thing. They all did. I looked around the room. Cordelia was shaking her head and whispering several curse words and Gunn was shaking his head. Before I could find my voice he had sat down. I scooted as far as I could towards Gunn without sitting on his lap.

Gunn just looked at me.

Angel just paid attention to the movie. "Isn't that Oz?" he asked.

Willow looked up and grinned, "We all thought that too but I guess its not" she said.

Conner started fussing and I whimpered again. Every time he did that it was like needles shooting through my breast. I am going to have to ask the two researchers out there to look up item number 4. Why do they hurt so badly?

He continued to fuss until it got everyone's attention and it was making me hurt too bad. Someone flipped on the lights and Angel tried calming him down. I sighed and I scooted back so I was half way in between both men and I reached over and took him from Angel. I made sure that I didn't touch Angel. It was more than I could bare. Angel was looking at me. I didn't want to see his expression. I didn't care. I had to tell myself that. I held Conner for a few seconds trying to figure out what I was going to do.

"Can someone turn off the lights?" I asked. Presto the light was turned off.

Ok I can do this. I have never done this with anyone actually paying attention. Will saw it once but he didn't care. It's dark in here so no one should be able to see anything. So I flipped my bra up and stuck Conner under my shirt and he sunk his teeth down on my breast in a second.

I was too busy paying attention to him too notice that the room was very quite except for Conner who was slurping. I looked up and I could see everyone was looking at me. I went red. Its not that they could see anything but still.

"What?", I snapped.

"Nothing", They all grumbled and turned the movie back on. Everyone that is but Angel who could see perfectly well. I forgot about the vampire vision. He was too busy staring and listening to his son. He couldn't see much because of the t-shirt but he could see his son was latched on. I just pretended not to notice he was openly staring. I was hurt as it was. Not like I should be right? He had the right to sleep with the mother of his child?

I sighed; this was the most content thing I have ever done. I traced my fingers over Conner's soft black hair and he had a strand of my hair. It was his favorite thing to do while nursing. I grinned down at him and I tickled his belly and I felt him giggle while he nursed. Angel had finally turned away and I started to relax when I heard a commotion outside. All the guys got up and were about to open the door when it flew open.

I looked up.

"Daddy, what are you doing here?" I asked surprised he was here.

"Well I could ask you the same thing. Now is that my grandbaby you're nursing?" he asked.

"Oh boy", Xander muttered.


I froze. Did I just hear him correctly? He didn't think this was Buffy's child? Of course looking at her one would assume that Conner was hers. She was sitting there nursing him. This was not good. I turned to look at Buffy's father and he was red in the face. Oh this was not good at all. 

"Hi daddy", Buffy said. I turned to look at her and she had a huge grin on her face.
Oh really not good. What the hell was she grinning about? I saw the looks on the others faces and they were just as confused as I was.

"Buffy, what is going on here?" Hanks asked.

I watched, as her grin got wider. She looked up at me and our eyes locked and in an instant I got it. I shook my head. She wouldn't. She grinned and had this evil look in her eye.

"Surprise, It's a boy!" she said told her father.

There was complete silence in the room.


Every single finger including Buffy's pointed to me.

"Thanks" I mumbled.

Xander slapped me on the back and said, "Anytime buddy, Daddy there is kind of scary".

We heard a giggle and looked to see Dawn standing with her arms around
Giles. While the rest of the gang went to see Dawn and pretended not to notice what was going on around them. Daddy dearest stalked over to me and I started walking backwards. I have faced demons of all shapes and sizes and I have been to Hell and back but Hank Summer's scares the Hell out of me. I hit the wall and I realized I was trapped.

I looked over to Buffy to see she was showing Conner to Dawn and watching the "Show" with a grin. She was absolutely no help.

"So you knocked up my daughter?" he sneered.

I gulped. "Um.. No⦠Sir⦠I swear" I had no idea what to say.

"So you are saying you didn't get her pregnant", he asked, pointing to Buffy and the baby.

At this point Buffy decided to get into the conversation.

"Daddy, you shouldn't be too hard on Angel. Yes, He is Conner's Father", she said.

"His name is Conner and your name is Angel? Isn't that kind of gay?" Hank asked.

I heard Xander break out into a laugh. This is not my day.

"No sir, my real name is Liam, Angel is just a nick name", I told him. I see it didn't impress him.

However it did make Xander stop laughing. Score one for the home team.

Buffy walked over and handed my child to this stranger. How could she do this? I just stared at her like she had two heads. She just turned and smirked at me.

"See daddy isn't he just the cutest thing you have ever seen?" she whispered.

Hank held him up so he could inspect him.

"Why, Buffy he looks just like you did when you were an infant, except for the black hair", Hank said and gave me a go to hell look. If the man only knew I have already been there at his daughters hand.

"That's impossible", I blurted.

"But" Buffy tried to say.

"See he has your mothers eyes. You got your eyes from her", Hank said.

Buffy and I frowned and we watched as Giles and Wesley came over and joined the conversation. Everyone in the room was listening of course. This was too good to pass up.

"Look, let me show you" and Hank gave Conner to Buffy, who just grinned and he pulled out his wallet. He dug around for a few seconds and produced several pictures.

"Here, look," he said. We all knew that it was no way possible so we humored Hank. Hell the man was on my case as it was. Giles took the picture and looked. He blinked and looked at Conner and then took his glasses off and cleaned them real quick and then put them on again and took another look.

"Dear God", he said.

I groaned.

I heard Buffy groan as well.

"Giles cut it out," she said and she walked over and snatched the picture from him and took a look. I watched as she got pale and she shook her head and laughed.
She threw the picture on the table and handed Conner to me and sat on the couch with Dawn. I frowned and walked over to the picture. I picked it up and looked at it. It was a cute picture. Buffy had to be about 3 months old at the time. She had lots of blond hair and was dressed in a baby blue dress. But it was the face and the eyes that got me. I looked at Conner and back at the picture and except for the hair you would swear you were looking at the same baby.

"It's a fluke", she whispered. Loud enough that I could hear her.

I nodded.

"Well, what do two plan on doing about this?" Hank asked.

"Excuse me?" I asked and I noticed that the room had become silent again. Damnit cant they go away or something.

"You are going to marry my little girl?" he said. It wasn't a question it was a statement.
I was stunned. No it wasn't Buffy's child. He had to know the truth. I looked at Buffy and I saw the grin come back on her face again. Oh no.

"Daddy, I'm sorry to tell you this but I picked Angel from a catalog. I got artificially inseminated. He tracked me down and bugged me till I finally gave in so he could be in the baby's life. I know what you're thinking; she has her whole life ahead of her. Well Daddy, I just thought what the hell one day and for some reason I just wanted a baby. As for marriage, please I would not marry Angel anyway I think he's gay.

I heard everyone snicker. I shot everyone a look to make them shut the hell up and I looked at Buffy and she had the sweetest innocent Catholic girl look on her face.

She looked at her dad and said "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Conner sooner daddy, I didn't know how you would take it. I didn't know if you would be happy or not. You were never really there for me at the end anyway. So what difference did it make? The man standing behind you has been more of a father than you have. He is the only one who hasn't abandoned me. Now if you don't mind I'm exhausted, I have had a horrible day."
I watched her during her speech and she never displayed an inch of emotion. It was like there was nothing there. She thinks I'm one of the ones who abandoned her?

"Buffy, I'm sorry baby. I know I wasn't there for you and your siblings and I'm trying to make it up", Hank said.

"Did he say siblings," Willow whisper? I was thinking the same thing. I only know of Dawn? Whatever.

"Good night Daddy, maybe later we can do lunch and I will bring Conner," she said sweetly.

I flinched, she did that on purpose.

Hank kissed her on the cheek and headed towards the door but not before he gave me a warning.

"If I hear that you ever hurt her or my grandson, I will personally hunt you down", he said and took Dawn and left.

She snorted and mumbled, "You'll need some wood."

I thrust Conner to Fred and grabbed Buffy's arm before she could head upstairs. I didn't care that everyone was in the room. It seems to be the going thing around here, to have an audience.

"Let go of me Angel," she growled. I shivered. I had never heard that tone of voice before.
"No, who gave you the right to do what you just did?" I yelled.

She whirled around and pushed me and I stumbled back. "Ya, and what did I do?" she whispered.

"Oh no, your not dumb Buffy", I yelled.

"Oh, your talking about the fact I told my father that he has a grandchild," she yelled back.

"Well yes." I said. I was getting confused.

"What was I suppose to say Angel. Was I suppose to say, Hey dad, Conner here was produced by Angel and Darla and combined they are over 750 years old. Oh how can that be, you ask? Oh see this is the great part, It's because they are vampires" She sneered. "And Conner needs the blood of the Slayer to live and well I'm recruited. What oh you don't know what the Slayer is? Well I'm the slayer basically I save the world on a regular basis and get nothing out of it but heart ache and torn clothes and now I give this adorable child my breast 3 times a day so he can sink his fangs in and draw blood out," she sobbed out the last part.

I just stared at her. For a moment I couldn't hear a single heartbeat. I saw the tears threaten to spill.

"What was I suppose to say?" she sobbed.

"Oh Buffy", Cordy said. She came over and gave her a hug.

I lost it. This was not happening. I walked over to Buffy and I touched her arm and she jerked.

"Don't you ever touch me. I saw this mornings little fun. If you want to touch someone go touch that whore you have upstairs, but don't you ever touch me again. We have to be here for 10 more months, don't even bother talking to me," she croaked out. I heard her gasp for air as she walked up the stairs.

"Buffy," I heard Willow whisper.

She froze, and she turned around and looked at Willow.

"Do you have any idea where I was Willow, when you brought me back to the living?" she asked.

Willow nodded and said "A demon hell dimension?"

I flinched. Remembering hell. God where is my head.

Buffy started laughing and the tears just started pouring down her face.

The laughter is what caught everyone's attention.

"No, this place your standing on is Hell, Willow," she said and she took off running to her room.

I remember the elevator.  This place was Hell.

"What did she mean by this was Hell?" whispered Willow.

"It means, she wasn't in a Hell dimension, she was in Heaven. Wasn't she Will?" Anya asked

He just nodded and took off running after Buffy.

The lobby was extremely quite. I turned around and the looks on their faces varied. Willow had shock on her face. Xander looked like he was going to be sick. Giles looked Pissed and Wesley looked concerned and Fred and Gunn looked confused as for the others I didn't give them a moments glance, But Cordelia looked pissed and it was directed at me.

"What" I yelled.

Cordelia walked up to me and slapped me. I touched my face and I looked at her I saw tears streaming down her face.

"Cordy?" I whispered. I was hurt she had never hit me before.

"What you think that Buffy was the only one who saw this morning. Maybe next time you should shut the door," she whispered and she turned and walked out the door.

I didn't bother to look at the others while I grabbed Conner and walked upstairs. I looked at the end of the hallway and saw that Will was trying to get Buffy to open the door. I sighed and opened my door and I didn't even notice that Darla wasn't even there when I walked in the room. Hell I didn't care. I held Conner close while I rocked him. Buffy had been in Heaven. She had been ripped out and was stuck here. My mind just couldn't comprehend it.

A few minutes later the door bust open.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You have to be the dumbest Wanker around. You stupid Ass," Will yelled.

I acted as if I didn't hear him. I just sat there rocking Conner. I was lost in my own thoughts.

"You do realize what she's giving up to be here for you. What sacrifices she's going through to do this for you?" he yelled.

I had enough. "What sacrifices?" I sneered. As if I didn't know but I hated Will and jealous of Will and Buffy's relationship.

He just looked at me and his jaw dropped open. "You cannot be that dumb. How about the fact that she loves you and she has to nurse your child. Or the fact that she has to see you with Darla. She cannot touch you and she has to live here", he said.

"She has you William," I sneered.

I saw him jerk upright at being called his Christian name.

"You think that we are lovers? We are friends. She needed someone to comfort her after she came back. You remember what it was like to come back from hell", he questioned.
I didn't say anything but I remember the nights that Buffy had stayed with me. She had held me when the nightmares came, brought me blood. Stayed with me till I had become stronger. I remember when I had tried to do suicide. I had tried more than once. She never gave me a lecture but just held me.

"That's what I thought. Your just like Angelus", he sneered.

My head shot up. "I am nothing like that Ass. I don't care what you think of me. Your opinion of me is nothing that I treasure," I laughed.

"Maybe not but I have to go clean up your mess that you made. Since we have been here you have acted just like him. Hell you even sleep with your sire, just like Angelus would have done. Why don't you prove to everyone around us that you can still be a man and not a bloody Ass? She needs you and I had actually thought that you would have been good for her, hell what was I thinking. Now I know you are just making things worse for her." And with that he walked out of the room.

"Oh Conner I really screwed up big time. Daddy did it this time". I looked at him and the picture came to mind. He really did look like Buffy. How was that? I let out a frustrated sigh.

"Darling there you are" Darla said as she walked in the door.

I sniffed; there was something there something familiar.

"Darla where have you been?" I asked her.

"Oh just out for fresh air. I was tired of being locked up in this dreadful hotel", she said and undressed and looked at me. I could actually feel myself harden. SHIT.

I stood up with Conner and walked out the door.

"Goodnight Darla", I said and shut the door with a bang.

This was not happening again not tonight. I could feel the demon raging. He wanted her but we both wanted Buffy. I walked to Buffy's door and I placed my ear to her door and I could hear Will talking to her. I was tempted to knock and try to talk to her.

Give her time a voice whispered to me. I laughed out loud, Buffy would have to be Immortal for that much time to forgive me

Part 7

"Wave Bye Bye Conner," I told the baby gleefully. I was standing outside with him watching the gang get in the car. It was a beautiful sunny Friday morning. It was the day before Halloween and I had planted a little bug in Anya's ear about a sale at the Magic Box. It was all she needed and Xander didn't stand a chance. She babbled nonstop about the killing she was going to make. For once I have never been so grateful for Halloween to come. The rest of them didn't want to leave but I swore up and down I was fine. Plus there was this big guilt trip I gave them about leaving Faith. Worked like a charm.

I didn't even want to think about last night. I should never have told my father that Conner was mine, but what else was I suppose to do? I was nursing him for Gods sake. As for the rest of the things I said, they would have come out anyway why not get it over before my anger got any worse. I know that my friends are completely shaken up over the fact that I was in Heaven, especially Willow, but she'll get over it. As I figure, one minute I was sitting on my personal beach sipping Mochas being served by guys in thongs and then she brings me back to this. I think a little guilt wont hurt her.

"Bye Bye," I whisper, I don't bother with a wave. I wait till the car turns the corner and I start to grin. "I refuse to think about anything painful. That my dear Conner is my get better tip of the day," I look at the baby and giggle. I start to laugh harder, God look at me I'm talking to a baby who is staring at me like I am a mental patient.

"You are probably right Con, I should probably see a Shrink," I babble to him as we walk into the hotel.

"Who should see a shrink?" Angel asks walking down the stairs.

I don't even bother to answer him instead I ask Cordelia, "What do you think Cordy, do you think we should take Master Conner here for his first outing?"

She looked at me and smiled, "Actually Buffy, I think that's a wonderful idea."

"Now wait a minute he's not going anywhere without me", Angel argued.

I didn't bother to say anything but handed Conner to Cordy and ran upstairs real quick to change. By the time I got back downstairs I saw that Conner was already to go. Angel was nowhere to be seen. I couldn't help the smirk.

"You ready?" I asked her.

"Where are you two cheerleaders going?" Darla questioned and she looked around us to where Conner was strapped into his Carrier and there was his diaper bag. I saw instantly she was going to be a problem.

"With my son? Absolutely NOT! ANGEL, GET OUT HERE NOW!" she yelled, hands on her hips. She really is a bitch; I haven't said that today, maybe I should tell her. I couldn't help the smile that graced my face.

Cordy and I just looked at each other and waited but Angel never showed but Wesley and Giles did. We shrugged and I picked up the carrier and headed for the door. She ran up to the door and stopped before the sunlight.

"You are not taking my son", she yelled pointing a finger at me.

"Ok Darla, why don't you go with us," I told her. This is the nice me. Right, I actually wanted to plunge a stake in her heart very slowly so she screamed in pain. I was having such a nice dream when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"How could you invite her?" Cordy hissed.

I snickered. "Well are you going to come with us? Oh make sure you bring some sun block it's a little sunny in the mall with all the skylights. We might take a stroll on the boardwalk at the beach," I told her. I couldn't help the grin on my face. It was just pissing her off. Cordelia just laughed.

"Darla, I think it's a good idea that you let Cordy and Buffy take Conner out for a little while. It will do him good, besides I trust Buffy with Conner's life," Angel said quietly.

I gasped and twirled. He was standing right behind me, barely two feet behind me. When had he snuck up behind me? How the hell did I not know that he was there? Either I am losing my touch or he was getting to be really good. He was staring at me and I just couldn't look away. As hard as I tried there was something in his eyes, almost hypnotic. I licked my lips and his gaze dropped to my lips and back to my eyes. My heartbeat tripled and he arched an eyebrow. Well, shit.

"Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnggggggeeeeeelll," Darla whined. Well that broke the stare.
"Darla shut up," he growled and grabbed her by the arm and dragged her up the stairs.
"Angel, what the hell are you doing?" she complained.

He never answered and just kept going and he only stopped once and that was when he passed Fred and Will.  He stopped and gave Will a look. Will just gave him a nod. What the hell was that all about? I just looked at Cordy who was gazing at Angel like he had grown another head. She shook her head and we grabbed Conner and our purses and took off before something else happened.

We settled into Cordelia's car and on the way to the mall I just sat there wondering what the hell was Angel doing? What game was he playing? This was not a game he was going to win. I was not going to let him hurt me. I told him last night to leave me alone. God I don't want to be hurt again. For a few seconds there I felt something, something I haven't felt since I came back. I know that there is something wrong with me and I know that Giles and Wesley are working on it, but when my heart started racing for a moment I felt like a woman. I told him to stay with Darla and I meant it, but my heart is saying something different. Lord this is going to be a long day.

Walking around the mall was boring as Hell, not that I didn't mind. I bought Conner several things. Cordy had a blast, typical Cordy but I just wasn't interested in anything, too many things on my mind. Well not really just one person in particular. I told Cordelia that I was going to go sit out on the bench for a few minutes. She gave me an odd look and nodded. As I sat there I didn't pay attention to anyone or anything but Conner and I never noticed until it was to late the man who sat down beside me.

"Hello Buffy", He said.

My head snapped up and I saw one of the most handsome grins I have ever seen and my jaw dropped.

"My God, Hello Lindsey," I said quietly.


"Are you crazy? You just let that little Bitch take our son. What if she doesn't bother to bring him back? She's obsessed with you, she would do anything to have your son," Darla yelled and hissed like the perfect caring mother.

I shut the door and grabbed her shoulders and pushed her up against the wall.

"If you ever call Buffy a Bitch again. I will be the one to stake you," I snarled.

"Angelâ¦" She whispered, she looked terrified. I suddenly felt sorry I said that, but I shook it off, Darla had been down right mean, like I had these last few days.

"No Darla, I mean it. Buffy is here to help us. She is putting her life on hold to nurse our son and you have been the Bitch to her and I have been nothing but an Ass. Things around here are going to change. You are going to be nice to her," I said.

"Absolutely not, I refuse to be nice to Blondie, she is a Slayer, she hates our kind. You do remember that Angel?" she sneered.

My anger came rising to the top and I threw her across the room. I watched as she stood up and she started to laugh. " Looks like Blondie, still wins every time but she didn't win yesterday morning", she laughed.

I stiffened at her words.

"Poor little Slayer had to see the whole display. What would you call that Angel? Love, or was it just sex? I bet the Poor Buffy saw it differently?" Darla laughed.

Darla walked towards me and ran her hands down my chest and I had the stiffened.

"Tell me Angel what was it?" she whispered.

I leaned down to where her ear was and whispered, "I'm not sure Darla but as you can tell my soul is still in tact and it wasn't just sex because even that is fulfilling. Hell sex with Drusilla is more fulfilling."

She jerked back and screeched it was something like Dru would have done in a fit of madness. What I didn't expect her to do was to rake her fingers down my face.

I hissed that stung like a Bitch.

"Damnit Darla, Ouch," I yelled.

"Good, I am not leaving this place or your bed Angelus. That is my child we conceived and you are stuck with me forever and no little girl is going to take my place, especially a Slayer," she yelled and stalked out of the room.

I lifted my hand to my face and hissed at the pain. I knew better than to bring up Dru, that was a touchy subject to Darla, especially now that she was her sire, but it was still Darla's blood. It was just strange. I sighed and sat on the bed and was I was lost in thoughts till the girls got home.
I gazed at myself in the mirror. I feel like a princess, He said to pick something out that was flattering and Cordy said I looked stunning.  I was wearing a black full-length matte jersey that hung to my every curve. It had a lined empire-waist top that darted on the bust and tied behind the neck. The skirt flowed gracefully at the ankle and it had a sheer silk sash.

It was beautiful. I had my hair up in a twist and had two diamond bobby pins stuck in the top, I borrowed them from Cordelia; she had been excited when I had told her I was going to a ball. Of course she has no idea that it was Lindsey, wont she be surprised. I was wearing a simple Diamond Cross necklace to access my neck.

A pang of guilt hit me and I sat on the bed to slip on my shoes. I tried to push the guilt away as I looked at the shoes. They were black 4-inch hills with a wrap around strap and a silver buckle decorated with rhinestones. I remember a time when I adored shoes and now I remember why. God I love these shoes, I silently thanked Lindsey for them. He had given me the money for all my expenses. Cordelia never asked once how I was paying for them. I guess she thought this was coming from either Dad or what Angel was paying me. I still haven't spent a dime of what Angel has given me.

With a sigh, that brings my thoughts around to him. Lindsey, I hadn't seen him in forever and he had been as surprised as I was to see me. I quickly gave him a hug and he had asked if Conner was mine and I had told him no that he was a friends that I was watching, which basically I was, well not the friends part. Then on the spur of the moment he asked if I wanted to go with him to a ball that his company was having, if I was free. Free, hell ya I was free.

After I had told him yes, things had gotten weird, he had asked me where he could pick me up at and I had told him the Hyperion because I was staying with friends. He had literally hopped off the bench, like it was scolding him. I looked at him strangely and he repeated the hotels name. I just nodded and he sat down and we had a nice little chat, well more like a 10-minute chat and he took off before Cordelia could join us. Not that I could blame him. She had been so upset to only see the back of my mystery man's head. I laughed. So Lindsey had been Angels big bad, I just couldn't see it. Oh well, some how I think there is so much more to the story then he was able to tell me.

I look at myself and I really hope that Cordelia can forgive me. She was so excited when I had started looking for the dress. We went to every store in the mall and I tried on about 100 dresses or at least it felt like that finally thanks to Conner we came home. She even helped with my makeup and my hair. She said that I was finally getting out into the World and that going on a date was a first step. If she only knew. With a sigh, I walk into the bathroom to get my earrings when I hear a knock at the door.
"Come in," I hear her say. I let out a breath that I don't need. What was I doing? I had no idea what I going to say. Will had said try to apologize and when did I take advice from guy who named himself Spike? He was doing something right, since Fred was spending time with him. I wasn't sure that I liked that idea. Get it together Angel. I push the door open and the rooms empty. I can smell her so I know she's here. It's a comforting smell, it's arousing and it's Buffy.

"Buffy," I call out looking around for her.

"What do you want?" she calls out irritated. That doesn't sound good for me. Plus I think she's in the bathroom but a second later she walks out fixing her earring.

She's stunning.

"Ya, Angel what do you want?" she asks again.

I cannot seem to find my voice.

"Your beautiful," I whisper. She stops what she's doing and looks at me. I can see it in her eyes that she's confused. Way to go Angel.

"I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have," I stutter. Damn she's beautiful. The dress is stunning on her it just flows on her with her every move. It hugs her every curve, every one of her touchable curves. I groan.

"Its ok, thank you," she whispers and she gives me a smile. Its something she hasn't given me since she's been here. It's genuine. I can feel myself smiling back.
"I better go," she says.

I frown, "Where are you going, not that its not great to see you all dressed up, because you are beautiful but what's the occasion, is it someone's birthday and they forgot to inform me or something?" I'm babbling.

Her smile got bigger," Angel you're babbling. I have never heard you do that before." My smile was huge. I was actually having a conversation with her. At least I think this was a conversation.

"Actually, I have a date tonight," she said. I lost my smile.

"I need to run, he should be here any moment," she said as she was walking out the door.

I growled and she froze.

She didn't turn around but she asked, "Angel did you just growl?"

"Yes," I whispered ever so softly, but she acted as if she didn't hear and all honesty I'm not sure she did because I wasn't sure a vampire could hear it. She kept walking so I don't think she did.

"ANGEL," I heard what sounded like Cordy scream. I took off running but Buffy just kept walking. I looked back at her and she had a calm look on her face. I ran down the stairs and skidded to a halt.

"YOU?" I yelled.

There was Lindsey McDonald standing in the middle of my lobby in a black tuxedo. He was nervous but acting as cool as he could be, considering Wesley, Cordelia and Gunn had weapons trained on him and the others were looking around confused.

"Hello Angel," He said smoothly.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I questioned.

"Well that's obvious," Buffy said gliding down the stairs. "Me in a dress, him in a tux. Put two and two together what do you get?" she joked.

"Oh no, you are not going with him," I said.

"Oh yes I am," Buffy said, gliding past me to stand beside Lindsey. I just gave her a look and she smiled up at Lindsey.

"Yes, Buffy darling we really must go," Lindsey said with a grin and placed his arm around her and she grinned right back up at him.

"Buffy you cant go with him, he is down right evil," Cordy pleaded.

"It will be ok Cor, trust me," she said and they started walking towards the door arm and arm.

Oh no she was not leaving with him.

"Lindsey," I heard Darla say.

I watched Lindsey freeze. I couldn't help the smirk on my face. Buffy turned her head to look at Darla.

"Darla," I heard him whisper. He turned to face her and I noticed his face was pale. I almost felt sorry for the guy but he's dating Buffy and he's EVIL. I wanted to rip his throat out.

"Lindsey, what are you doing, with that Bi.. Buffy?" she said glancing at Angel.

"I'm taking Buffy to a ball. Good night everyone", he said and they turned around and tried to leave.

"Oh no this is all your fault," Darla screeched.

"Oh God what is the blond bimbo talking about?" Buffy sighed.

"Why don't you tell her?" Darla said with a smirk.

Buffy looked at Lindsey and smiled. He smiled down at her. I growled. Everyone looked at me. Lindsey lifted an eyebrow.

"Well Buffy it goes like this, I brought Darla back from the dead," he said.

I watched Buffy's reaction. She didn't look stunned at all. She just playfully slapped him. "Damn you Lin, I guess I'm going to really order everything that's expensive on the menu for that one." she joked.

Lindsey had the nerve to lean down and kiss her on the cheek. I vamped out.

"Get the hell out Lindsey, and don't you ever touch her again," I growled in a low voice.

Buffy turned to me and said, " Sorry Angel but I got all pretty, you said it yourself and I'm going whether you like it or not" and she took Lindsey's outstretched hand and they walked out the door.

Lindsey turned around at the last second and said,"Oh and Angel I do want to thank you for the little joke with the cops. Real Funny. They thought so too."

Everyone was silent for a few seconds and then chaos.

"Who the hell was that?" Will asked

"What is going on?" Giles asked.

"Angel should we follow?" Wesley asked.

"Lindsey" Cordelia kept saying over and over like she couldn't believe it.

"Who and what is wrong with Lindsey?" Fred asked.

"I already have weapons man," Gunn told me.

"Lindsey", Darla said dreamy.

I pushed my hands through my hair. What the hell was going on? I ran up the stairs.

"Angel?" they all shouted.
"WHAT?" I shouted back. They were all quiet.

"She's a big girl," I said.

"But she has no idea who he is," Cordelia said.

"Cordelia did she look afraid to you? No she didn't, she looked like a woman who wanted to go out. She brought a dangerous man into my home. I don't know if she knew about him or not. She's a slayer she can handle him, as it was the last time we saw Lindsey he was heading out of town for the straight and narrow path." I said. I had the sudden urge to hold Conner. What I wanted to do was follow them and kill Lindsey once and for all. She was mine, how dare he lay a hand on her.
She was mine.
She was.
I have to remember that
Was. And never will be again.
Damnit, I never even got to apologize and things just got worse.
As we stepped outside I started to squeeze Lindsey's hand.

"Damnit Buffy, that hurts," he yelped.

"Oh ya well that's not all that's going to hurt when I get done with you. You forgot to mention Darla," I sneered

"Yes well that's something I'm not tooo, um proud of, besides I figured she was dead by now," he whispered.

I looked at him and I realized that he liked Darla. We continued down the steps in silence. I didn't say anything till we on the road.

"You loved her didn't you?" I asked him.

He was quiet for a few minutes. "Yes, Buffy I did. She came back human and she was dying and I couldn't let her die and I well Dru sired her again and Angel watched," he admitted.

I flinched, that must have been traumatic for Angel.

"She let me live, for some reason when she killed our bosses. I really never understood. She lived with me for a while and then suddenly she left. I blamed it on Angel, she was obsessed with him and then I attacked him and then I left this godforsaken town and now I'm back. But you, I heard were dead," he said trying to switch the topic.

I smiled I knew there was more behind the story but I figure what the hell, I'm not going to push it. "Yes, I died but I'm back and now I'm staying with Angel and well I guess Darla. I'm kind of a nurse or something to their child," I told him

"How did you come back?" he asked


"THEIR WHAT?" He yelled.

"Darla showed up pregnant one day claiming it was Angels, of course there is this prophecy. Always a prophecy. That little baby in the mall is theirs he's human," I whispered.

"Damn," he whispered and we were both so lost in our thoughts that we didn't realize we had pulled up to the hotel.

"Hey, Lets just forget about it for tonight and try to have a good night Lin, besides its been awhile since I've seen you," I whispered.
He grinned but I could see that he was lost in his thoughts.

"My lady," he handed me his arm.

I giggled; for once it was great to just be out, to be free. As we walked in I looked behind me. I just had this feeling that I was being watched. It was the same feeling that I had at the mall and when I was outside with Conner several times. It just has to be my spider senses on overdrive. All these available men must be making it go off. Maybe I should have invited Cordelia since this was a Bachelor Auction. I let a small giggle out, Nope, these men were all mine. Didn't I deserve some happiness?

Outside Holtz continued his observation on the girl. She seemed to sense him. He had already decided that she was more than normal. She seemed to have an attachment to the kid, which meant an attachment to Angelus, All the more to kill her. He would have to find out exactly what she was before he went on his killing spree. Angelus and Darla would pay, they would pay dearly for what they did.
Part 9

The night had been a bore. It should have been a blast. I was sipping champagne and standing on a very available bachelors arm, well he was one of many that night. I had received several phone numbers and tucked them in my dress. Being the Slayer, I have learned to use my clothing well. I got a good laugh at the lady who had bought Lindsey. Poor Lin, he was in for it. Some old lady with too much money to spend, who had been way to eager to get her hands on Lin.

As we pulled up to the hotel, I noticed that all the lights were on in the lobby and I hesitated to get out.

"Do you want me to walk you in?" He asked. He was looking at the building, I'm sure he noticed that the lights were on as well.

"Um.. no, I think it would be safer for you to just go home," I said, remembering tonight's earlier theatrical display.

"Are you going to tell them who I am, Buffy?" he asked. He tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace.

"It depends on how nice they are tonight," I grinned.

This time he really grinned," I really missed you," and he kissed me on the cheek and I got out of the car. I watched him drive away before walking up the steps to the hotel.

"Dear God give me strength," I whispered a prayer. I wasn't too shocked at the sight that greeted me. Everyone was sitting around like they were waiting for battle. Weapons were everywhere. Will was pacing and Angel was sitting on the stairs sharpening a knife. Hell even Cordelia was holding a crossbow. Guess they really hated Lin. This should really be fun.

"Was there a party that I wasn't invited too? I'm really hurt guys," I joked closing the door.
"Oh thank God, Buffy," Giles came rushing up and gave me a bone crushing hug.

I hugged him back and figured I would push my luck and try to go to my room but I knew that Angel was sitting on the stairs for a reason. He wasn't going to let me pass without a fight. I wonder if there is any other way to get upstairs. Maybe a service entrance, I wonder if that elevator works?

"I know what your thinking and no it doesn't work and yes there is and you would have to find it. So why not just get it over, Buffy?" he said very softly.

It was so soft that I shivered and I looked over to where he was and I looked in his eyes and said, "I don't believe that it's none of your business Angel who I go out with. Just like its none of my business who you fuck," I said just as quiet. I heard someone gasp and I saw what looked like fury go through his eyes, how unlucky for him that my anger was worse.

"Ohhh my bad, did little Buffy say Fuck?" I giggled.

"Buffy are you drunk?" Will asked.

"Um no" I answered.

"That son of a Bitch, got you drunk," Angel growled.

"Actually Lin is not a Son of a Bitch, his mother is actually very nice, he's more of a bastard. I guess that's the right term. Isn't that what you would have called him back in your day Angel?" I saw his confused expression. I continued my speech," Oh and he didn't get me drunk." And I pulled a piece a paper from between my breast and said," That was Jason, he was down right adorable. Cordelia you would have loved him, right along with, Keith, and David he had a funny last name rhymed with rabbit. What a cutie. OHHH there was Matt, Greg, Craig, and Steve

"Enough." Angel roared.

"What?" I looked at him innocently and smiling. I knew exactly what I was doing.

"What the hell were you doing and you met David Nabbit?" he asked.

"Oh ya that's his name, he was so nice even offered me a job as his Girl Friday, If you get my drift." I wiggled my eyebrows a little and giggled.

"Um.. I think Buffy needs to go up stairs," Giles said coming up behind me and he placed his arms around me. " Honestly Buffy I thought you had learned your lesson with alcohol.

I grinned," Well Giles, I didn't think I was going to turn into cave woman again so it was all good, besides there was some serious hotties in there." I heard Angel growl and I looked at him he was actually red in the face. For someone who has acted like he hasn't cared about me since I've been here he's acting jealous now, I wonder. "Even, Lindsey," I added, I don't know why I did but I did. Well that made Angel go over the top.

He jumped up from his place on the steps and started marching towards me like he was a General in the Army. Will came running over to stand in front of me. I just grinned this was so much fun. Did they actually think I was drunk? I didn't even have a single drink.

"Now Angel, Come on its been a long night, why not go upstairs and check on Conner and go to bed," Will said.

I got this mental picture of him going upstairs, kissing Conner and then getting in bed with Darla and I just felt sick. Now I wish that I really I was drunk. "Yes Angel, please do go up stairs, I mean there is a willing body up there for you," I sneered. I couldn't help it. It hurt so much.

I heard Cordy gasp and Giles whisper, "Buffy that's enough" and Will looked at me and gave me a what the hell are you doing glare. Gunn just turned his head and pretended to have a conversation with Fred. For the first time I noticed that Conner wasn't there and neither was Darla are these people insane? I turned to look at Angel and I saw he had two emotions on his face. One was Pain and the other was Anger.

"How dare you?" he yelled.

"How dare I? You started this, by ruining my nice night. I got all beautiful and I finally had a nice date. You people started it when I left and you waited up for me to finish it. What did you expect? Did you think I was bringing back an Army that Lindsey had somehow corrupted me over dinner to the Dark side? You people ruined my damn night," I yelled right back.

He looked stunned.

"Buffy he's evil," he said.

"Was! So were you, hell you fired your whole crew not to long ago and yet here you are and here they are. They gave you a second chance when you locked Darla and Drusilla in a room and let all those Lawyers die. Lindsey could have died, so FUCK you Angel," I screamed, by this time I had tears flowing down my face. I noticed that everyone was very silent.

Angel had become very very pale." Howhow did you know that?" he chocked out.

I just walked around him and started up the stairs.

Angel turned around and yelled, "I said how the Fuck did you know about that. I know that no one told you about it Buffy?"

I stopped and turned around. I stood my ground and glared at him.

"What difference does it make Angel? Oh wait, I know because Angel here for the first time is not in control of the situation. Angel does not know everything. What would you do Angel if I told you how I found out? Would you run to the PTB and ask them to get rid of my memories or turn back the day?" I yelled.

"Oh god", Cordelia moaned.

Angel went even paler.

"Oh that's right I KNOW! What you think I forgot? They never even tried to erase my memories and if you want to verify it then go ask Lorne. I went and saw him after I left the office. He read my soul and I asked him why I still had them, he said that it was CRUEL. YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE RIGHT, ANGEL! Oh and look I still died. Do you want to know why I died Angel?" I saw him close his eyes and I saw the tears fall but he shook his head. Of course he didn't want to know. I looked around the room and I saw that Cordelia was crying and even Fred was and she had no idea why. She just knew that we were in pain.
"Well to bad Angel, I knew damn well that I only needed a drop of blood to close the portal. I learned that lesson with sending you to hell. I wanted to. to end it. I was tired of being the Slayer. I have been the Slayer for 5 years. 5 years of pain, stabbing, beheading, staking, patrolling graveyards and nothing to show for it but Cordelia's stupid remarks on how I'm nothing but a Freak," I yelled. I watched as Cordelia gasped.

"Buffy." She tried

"Its ok Cordelia, I listened to you for 3 years tell me how I was a freak and how my life was pathetic and the ironic thing is you ended up here and with visions. So I guess the moral of the story is don't open your mouth," I snapped.

"Buffy, I never meant to hurt you," she said sobbing.

"Ya know Cor, it really wasn't that long ago. If you weren't having visions of me climbing out of my coffin you wouldn't be acting all nice to me. You would still be Anti-Buffy, so save it ok," I told her quietly. I saw the hurt flash through her face but I knew I was right and so did she and she nodded.

"Anyway back to my story, I had just placed my mother in the ground. My sister isn't actually my sister but an energy Key that a Hell Dimension Goddess wanted so she could go back home," I stopped my little speech and laughed when I looked around the room to see that Cordelia and Angel had figured it out and that Wesley was looking on in awe.

"Ding Ding that's right, my life sucks, the monks, they were wonderful and so thoughtful that they sent the key to me to protect in the form of a sister. They also gave me and you and everyone who came in contact with Dawn fake memories. Lovely little spell, so basically you just met her at my funeral and well Angel since you never came to my funeral, Jackass, your first time meeting her was well 2 nights ago. I saw him flinch, good.

"Anyway, when Glory had finally figured out who she was because she sucked Tara's brain, she kidnapped her and had her at the top of this huge tower. The first drop of blood opened this hell Dimension and Dawn went to jump off the tower and you see I couldn't let her, I have already done that once. Instead I saw my chance, so Angel you gave up your humanity for nothing," I whispered. I looked at him and I saw the anger building again and I saw hurt and pain but the tears where still there.

"Its funny though cause here I am, of course I'm a little different. Maybe a Buffy model 3.0 or something.  Little Willow thought she would bring me back because she swore I was in that Hell dimension, but she knew better. It was nice of her huh. She didn't even bother dig up my grave. Nooo instead I had to break out of my coffin and dig my way out. To top it off a soulless demon actually received a soul so I could live. The amusing thing is that Angelus would have never done that for me. Would he Angel?" I asked. I looked at him but he was backed up in a corner and I couldn't see him but I knew the answer though.

I sighed, " I am sick and tired of you people making decisions for me. Giles you have been making all of my decisions for me since I was 16, Angel you well it's a complete laugh. You left me so I could have a normal life. LOOK THE FUCK AROUND YOU. I am not normal, I just came back from the dead, hell I've been dead twice. My best friend is a vampire who use to want me dead. I love a vampire who if I slept with him he would kill me on sight. I have a witch for a friend who brought me back from the great beyond, her lover is a Sorceress, My sister isn't real, my other friend is completely mortal and I wonder how the Hell he is still alive and he is marrying an Ex Vengeance demon that Cordelia called to get rid of me.  Cordelia has visions, Fred here was in another Dimension, and Gunn is a demon hunter, my last boyfriend worked for a Government Agency that mutilated Demons. I don't even want to discuss Riley at the moment. Oh wait there is Conner, that I'm letting him sink his little fangs into my breast into 3 times a day. Hello Angel, you're a vampire who just had a baby with another vampire and the baby is HUMAN, Somewhat anyway, how the hell does that happen? So please let me go on living my normal life."

I shut the door and I felt like my body was on autopilot. I undressed and changed and I sat on thI stopped and took a deep breath; I just looked at the ceiling. I once told you that all I saw was you in my future and left. You just turned around and left. You listened to my mother. Yes Angel, I knew about that. Towards the end my mom would just start babbling about things, she had said she was sorry for what she had done. She didn't have the right, but the more I think about it. I think she was right. You made the decision to leave, not my mother and not me. You could have stayed. If you had loved me then you could have stayed and we would have worked on your curse but you never tried. Instead you walked away."

I turned around and started up the steps, I stopped at the very top but didn't turn to face them and said, "The day my Watcher came up to me on the steps on Hemry High, My half-brother signed his Soul away at Wolfram and Hart. I guess the PTB have a funny sense of humor. One child dark the other light, maybe that's why the Watchers Council never knew about me to begin with. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a Slayer. Tonight you ruined my night out with Lindsey, It's been several years since I've seen him, but he's evil and I guess he's not allowed to change unlike some people. Ya know Angel he knew about you losing your soul through his kid sister and yet he never tried to use me, instead he thought that by bringing Darla back would do the trick. I'm not sure if I should thank him or not but then again you do have Conner, something you never thought you would ever have." With that I walked up to my room and left them to their thoughts or to the chaos.

e bed. The tears were flowing nonstop; it had been a bad idea in coming here, even if it was to help Conner. I placed a hand on my aching breast; just thinking about the child makes me sore. I groan, and I feel more tears start to fall. My shoulders start to shake but I force myself to stop. This is not going to happen, I just need some sleep. I quickly walk over to my under ware drawer and go through it. I knew that Will wouldn't touch the drawer but maybe Angel would.  The Dr had given me some mild sedatives to help me sleep when I had told him I was nursing. I hadn't mentioned that to anyone, I figure its better for them not to know. Angel would go all-mental and Will, well he gets all protective. I grab the bottle and take one. With my hands shaking I quickly place the bottle back in the drawer.

"What are you doing?" Will asks.

"Spying on me now ?" I snap.

He looked hurt, but I'm too angry to care.

"No Buffy, I just wanted to see if you were ok. Look I know that Angel had no right to say anything but he was concerned and he did tell us what Lindsey did to him. Lindsey was evil," Will said.

I just looked at him.

"Your right he was and so were you. In fact not to long ago, I was number one on your hit list. So please spare me the evil lectures. If this is why you came up here then please go away. I've heard it already," I said wearily and I walked over to the bed and got in and curled up.

"I'm sorry Buffy, I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I think that it would be best if I slept somewhere else tonight. I I'm sorry," He whispered and he shut the door.

I just lost itI cried silent tears and knew that the pills would have no effect tonight.

Downstairs I just stood there.

"Angel." Cordelia whispered.

Everyone was staring at me, like they wanted to say something or they were waiting for me to say something. Why its not like I'm in charge any more?

"Go home," I said softly.

"Angel are you sure we can stay?" Wesley asked.

I shook my head, I was lost to my thoughts.

"No Angel we cant leave you like this, Buffy should never have said all that. She was being herself," Cordelia snapped.

For the first time I looked at her. I really looked at her. "She's right Cordelia," I whispered.

"What?" she said.

"Lindsey is her brother?" Gunn asked.

I just started shaking my head. I never knew. I never knew. She never told me she had a brother. What else did I not know, I didn't know she could sing or dance. I started to listen to the arguments going on about Lindsey and I couldn't take it anymore I picked up a chair and threw it across the room.


All was silent as they fled and Buffy's friends had already gone upstairs. I'm sure to comfort her. I continued to throw furniture, that chair had felt good. I threw everything I could get my hands on till there was nothing left and I plopped down in the middle of the lobby. Damn, Cordelia was going to be happy. I guess she can remodel now.

"You feel better you damn Poof," Will snickered.

"Go away, I don't feel like listening to your crap right now," I snapped.

I watched him kick a chair and he kneeled down in front of me. "Well honestly I wanted to make sure you were ok. Don't know why, I checked on Buffy earlier, I'm seeking another place to stay tonight," he grinned. I looked up at him and his face was full of love. I had a feeling that his "place" was with Fred. Good for them I guess.

"Anyway just to let you know if you weren't listening to her speech, cause I was you dumb ass, she's in love with you and she just told everyone who was in this room, night" he laughed and walked away.

Did she say that she loved me? I can't remember, shit! I looked around at the mess and sighed and started to pick up the place, it was going to be a long night anyway and its not like I was going to sleep tonight, with the her words running through my head.

Around 4 in the morning I crept up the stairs and I hesitated outside Buffy's door. I had a feeling she wasn't asleep but I didn't knock instead I went to my room and noticed that Conner was asleep and that Darla was asleep. I crawled into bed and Darla turned over and she placed her hands on me and I stiffened. She cuddled up and I wondered why this was so bad. She and I made a baby. She's my Sire, I can give her more than I can give Buffy, no matter what she said tonight. I made myself relax and soon felt myself drift off to sleep.

Part 10

The days past slowly, everyone was avoiding each other. Well ok, everyone was avoiding me. They seem to think that I was going to explode on them at any minute. If I came into the room Angel would quickly get up and leave, the same with Cordelia. As for Fred and Gunn well they would talk to me but I had hurt Cordelia, so they were a little on the cold side. Its not like Cordelia has never hurt me but these was her family and not mine. The only people who actually talked to me were my two Watchers' and they were more interested in learning about Conner and so forth, personally it was all very boring. Will on the other hand would talk to me, but he was being aloof and it was hurting more than ever, he had started sleeping somewhere else. I'm guessing that it was with Fred because she was sporting a brand new ' I just won a million bucks smile', or was it ' I just got laid smile'? Wish I had that smile maybe I would sleep better.

Basically I am getting about an hour or 2 of sleep a night. I had started leaving  every light on in the bedroom and the windows open so I could hear the traffic and as soon as the nightmares start I seem to wake up. Luck me, I guess, but there was no one here to comfort me when I did wake up. As soon as I did, I'd start shaking and end up crying my eyes out and run to the bathroom and throw up. No one seems to notice what I do anymore or that I'm not eating, so I look like a walking zombie or if they did they are too scared to talk to me. I tell myself every time I get up from a dream that I can't keep doing this but its like a shampoo bottle repeat if necessary. It seems to be necessary.

I groan when I roll over in bed. I was wide-awake; I had been awake for hours. Today was the 'Big' day. Giles and Wesley decided to start my training again. I'm overjoyed. At least I will be able to keep my mind off of Angel and Company. I slowly get dressed in a tank and sweats and head downstairs to the basement.

"Buffy your late," Wesley said when I finally made it down there.

"Am I?" I murmured, checking my imaginary watch on my arm.

"Sorry about that I just couldn't decide what to wear for my favorite Ex-Watcher," I said acting like a ditz. I heard a snicker and looked over to see Fred and Gunn sitting over at the edge of the mat. Angel and Will were on the other side.

"Wonderful," I sighed, so much for keeping my mind of Angel and Company, figures.

"Ok Buffy that's enough, lets do some stretches," Giles said.

I got up and did the stretches he wanted me to do. I had done them a million times and I could do them in my sleep. Then Will got up and we fought a while. I knew Angel wasn't about to get up. Will knew I was holding back. Then Giles asked me to do some tumbling. I nodded and I went to the end of the mat and did a series of tumbles. Nothing to hard, I did them all the way to the end of the mat and then to be a smart ass I did them back without my hands ever touching the ground. I heard it whizzing in the air and I never saw it. It was coming towards my back, my arm shot out and grabbed it in the air as I was coming down from the flip.

"Holy shit," Gunn said.

"Yes, I think that covers it," Giles said.

"Dear Lord," Wesley said.

I just stood there looking at what I was holding. I was holding the hilt of a knife in my hand.

"Alright who threw it?" I yelled. I didn't dawn on me what I had just done. I looked around and I saw horror written on Angel and Will's face. Giles and Wesley had awe written all over theirs and Fred and Gunn were amazed. I was simply confused and then I thought about what I had done. I was in the air turned upside down in a flip backwards and I had caught a knife that was thrown at me. How had I done that?

"Mr. Giles, I think that we have finally figured out what is wrong with Buffy," Wesley said. Giles just nodded. That just pissed me off.

"What do you mean you finally figured out what is wrong with me? Spit it out Wesley, don't just stand there and say things like that," I was livid.

I watched as Wesley's face grew pale. They all backed up they had all seen me get angry and they didn't want another scene.

"Buffy calm down, its nothing really. Do you remember when you died at the Masters hands?" Giles asked.

I nodded.

"When you came back that time you were stronger, even if it was a tiny bit," he said.

I nodded I remember saying I was fine, that I felt stronger. I sneaked a glance at Angel who was looking at me. I darted back to Giles

"Well we think It's basically the same thing but this time. I believe that you are now at full Slayer strength. Your healing powers are much greater and you're stronger than before, that's all. You were almost there before you're umm accident and I believe that when Willow called upon the Black Magic's that she helped push you along the way." Giles said.

I let out a sigh and said," That's it?"

They both nodded.

"I can handled that," I told them and I walked Angel who pushed himself up against the wall. He didn't even want to touch me. Ouch Well at least I have Conner

Just thinking about Conner makes me grin. The little boy is my whole world these days. I have become more and more attached to him and that has become a problem. I heard Giles and Wesley whispering about it yesterday, saying it wasn't healthy and that I was going to have problems when I left. I could have told them that. So I problem shouldn't tell them that my breast have grown another size?

Now that is starting to worry me. Not that they don't look great because honestly, I think they look wonderful, but they are extremely sore, until Conner sinks starts to suck. I groan just thinking about it, they are painfully, I have started taking hot showers twice a day too try to relive the pain. I wanted to talk to someone about it but whom was I going to talk to? Fred? No she would run to Will, who would get concerned and run to my new Watchers and they would end up going to Angel. I could go to Cordy but I think I ruined that the other day. Hmmm I wonder if she likes cookies?

After 2 more days of Cordelia avoiding me, I had decided that I missed having her to talk to. So the Goddess that is I, came up with a piece offering. I'm going to make her some cookies. Its pretty much the only thing I knew how to make. I did have a teenage sister that use to live with me so cookies were a daily thing. I made a dash to the kitchen to get started on them but I ended up running straight into Angel.

"Ouch," I yelped as I hit the floor.

"Sorry about that," he said sheepishly and he actually helped me up but as soon as our hands touched we separated. I looked up at him; he had felt the electricity too.

"So why are you in the kitchen?" I asked.

He smiled," Because its my kitchen."

I turned my back smiled and started hunting for the items for the cookies and said, "Good answer." Damn Will didn't buy any cookie stuff, looks like Pillsbury Doughy Boy it is, and Cordy will never know the difference, but first I have to run to the store.

"Why are you in the kitchen?" he asked.

I turned to look at him.

"Because I eat food," I smirked.

"Ohh, good answer," and he left the room.

Ok so that's the more of a conversation we have had in days but at least he didn't get up and walk away and at least he didn't have the Bitch monster we call (Darla) hanging on his side like yesterday. That made me want to puke, but hey I did say to go upstairs to the willing body. Guess it was my fault but does he have to flaunt it? She has been walking around and grinning from ear to ear. Personally if they are having sex I do not want to know about it. Hell is everyone around here having sex?

2 hours later and a Grocery trip, I had Chocolate chip, Peanut Butter and Oatmeal Cookies baked. The hotel smelled heavenly, I was having a hard time keeping Gunn and Wesley from eating them.

"Damnit these are not for you. You can have one." I snapped.

"Damn, I need you as a girlfriend, you can kick ass and cook," Gunn grinned.

"Shut up," I smiled and winked and gave him an extra cookie. Gunn stuck his tongue out at Wesley and I couldn't help but giggle. I knew Wesley wasn't going to come on to me even if he was pretending. I looked down at the cookies in disgust. "I'm turning into Willow," I muttered.
"Whys that," Angel actually said walking in the kitchen with Will.

I didn't say anything but started cleaning but I did catch Wills wicked grin and I snapped," Not a word mister."

"It wasn't that bad Buffy," He said giving me this puppy look. I ignored it and I saw a wounded look come across his face.
"Was it?" he asked insecure

I couldn't help the giggle that came out. I saw Angel frown, the giggle erupted into full blown laughter. Eventually everyone left because I wouldn't tell them why I was laughing and I swore I would stake Will slowly with a pencil if he told. As soon as they left and I calmed down I placed the cookies in a basket and wrote a little note for Cordelia.

Dear Cordy,
I just want to say I'm sorry but I'm horrible with words
And by now you should know that you should keep this piece of
paper because it might be valuable one day and you could sell it on
Ebay. I don't say I'm sorry to often. You will always Be Queen-C
that's who you are. Your passionate and Caring. Your loved here
Cordy never forget that. You know that I would never ask for your
help, so enjoy the cookies.

I ran outside and hopped on my motorcycle. I think I should trade this in. I bet dad will help me. Since he's a granddad now, I need something more practical. I think ill run by his house after I see Cordy. As I waited for a red light, a sign caught my eye, an audition for a Broadway musical. Hmmm maybe I should try out, its not like I have anywhere else to go.  I mentally remembered the Internet link.

10 minutes later I was at Cordelia's apartment, I knocked on her door and the door opened but no Cordy. I remembered Fred mentioned something about a ghost named Dennis.

"If this is you Dennis, turn on the lights please?" I begged. The lights turned on. It was really a neat trick, but honestly wouldn't that be spooky to have a ghost living in your apartment especially a male ghost. Freaky.

"Dennis is Cordy here?" I asked. Of course I didn't get any answer, why would I? I'm talking to a ghost.

"Umm.. ok I'm going to leave this here ok" I said still this was freaky and I walked out. I shivered a little.

Well hopefully Cordelia likes the cookies and she forgives me. Brown soulful eyes keep popping up. I groan, maybe I should talk to him? No No No No!! Ok maybe I'll write him a letter. Chicken!!

I was half way back to the hotel when I remembered I was going to stop by and see my dad. It was a great way to see how Dawn was doing. I had felt guilty for not going to see her. I keep reminding myself that I was doing all this for her but sometimes I wonder if I wasn't doing this for myself so I could be near Angel and now to be near Conner. I had become to attached to Conner. It was going to kill me to leave him. I tried not to think about it as I pulled up in the driveway. I ran up to the door and knocked. This time it was Dawn who opened it. That was a great sign, no ugly old ladies!

I grinned at my little sister and gave her a hug when she squealed and threw her arms around me.

"Buffy, did you bring Conner?" She asked.

I shook my head no. Looks like I'm not the only Summers who isn't addicted to the little Tyke and she only met him for a few minutes.

"Actually that's why I'm here is Dad home?" I asked her. She nodded.

"You smell like cookies, Buffy." She said and I grinned.

"I miss you Dawnie," I whisper

She walks with me to the kitchen and I see dad's sitting at the table reading a letter. He looks up when we enter.

"Buffy," he grins.

It actually startles me. I haven't seen my father smile at me in awhile. It reminds me when he use to be my father. I smile back at him. I feel like his little girl again.

"Hi daddy," I say.

e gets up and gives me a hug and I look at Dawn who shrugs and I just hug him back.

"Where is Conner?" He asks.

"Well that's what I came here for," I tell him. I feel somewhat guilty. Angel actually has a car, but I press on. "Dad I only have the motorcycle and I would like to trade it in and get a small car or something so I can take Conner around. You know bring him over more. This is more of a longer drive than a walk to the mall with him," I say in a small voice.

I watch his reaction but nothing flickers on his face.

All of a sudden he grabs my hand and says, "Come on Dawn."

Five hours later I park my new black Jeep Cherokee outside the Hyperion Hotel. Dad had told me that he had wanted his grandson to be completely safe and I had argued that I really wanted an SUV. I had really loved moms SUV and so had Dawn. Plus there was all this extra room. I was just giddy with excitement. Dad was taking over payments as long as I bring Conner over. He had said that I should spend all my time with Conner and that I should go back to school. Now that's an idea. Go back to school. For a second there I actually felt guilty then he signed the papers. I know I should feel more guilty especially since this wasn't his grandchild but hell he wasn't around a lot the past 5 years. He had a lot to make up for.

I skipped up the stairs and opened the door. I stopped when I saw everyone gathered again.
"What now?" I asked wearily.

"Thank God Buffy, You had us worried. You just left and no one knew where you were. We were just about to start a search for you," Giles said.

That guilt thing came back and I flinched.

"Well I wasn't," Darla said rocking Conner.

"Shut up Darla," Cordelia said grinning, munching on a cookie.

However it was the fact that Angel didn't tell her to shut up that got to me. I felt a stab of pain shoot through me. I thought I was through with all that crap. He was looking at me with the same expression he had been wearing for days. Like he wished I wasn't here. Maybe I should bake him some cookies, maybe blood cookies. I shivered, that was gross.

"Sorry I scared anyone, I went to see my father and he helped me get a new car and when did I have to start leaving notes when I left. Really childish, " I snapped, suddenly very tired.

"Whoa a new car, sweet can I see, can I drive?" Gunn bombarded me with questions. 

I threw the keys to him and said," Don't wreck it, He would kill me and it's the Jeep Cherokee out front. I'm going to bed," I said

Gunn took off and the others filed out with him. I heard a few of them whistle and I started up the steps but a hand reached out and stopped me.

"Ducks, why did you trade in your motorcycle, you loved it?" Will asked.

I shrugged and walked up a few more steps till I heard Conner coo and felt a shooting pain go through my right breast. I stopped and flinched Will looked at me but didn't say anything. I walked over to Darla and took Conner from him.

"Hey, bring him back," She snapped.

"Sorry but I have to um.. feed him" and I ran up the steps. I could still feel Angel's eyes on me. He knew Conner's schedule and he knew it wasn't feeding time for another hour.

I didn't even bother shutting the door, and I didn't bother with the bra but pushed it up and I went to the bed and laid us both down. Conner instantly curled around me and I gave him my breast and he sunk his little fangs down but the pressure wasn't released till his lower lip started sucking.

"Oh thank you God," I whispered.

When the right side was done I flipped over and let him have the left side.

"Oh God," I moaned.

I'm starting to think that maybe I was going to have to tell Giles about this. The pressure eased and I looked at him. He was getting bigger. I loved this time with him. This was the only time I got with him; the others could take him outside just as well as I could and since that big argument Angel wasn't speaking to me. So no Conner for me, kind of like my punishment.  Conner wrapped his little hands around my breast and squeezed, it gave me a jolt, to remind me that he was here. I look down at him to see he's staring at me and holding my hair. I wonder if he does that with Darla? God why the hell do I even think about things like that?

I stared down at him and smiled and I couldn't help but start to sing:

Lullaby and good night
In the sky stars are bright
Around your head
Flowers gay
Set you slumbers till day

Lullaby and good night
In the sky stars are bright
'Round your head
Flowers gay
Set you slumbers till day

Close your eyes
Now and rest
May these hours
Be blessed

Close your eyes
Now and rest
May these hours
Be blessed

I sang the words softly to him and he just stared up at me. He really was a miracle child. I swallowed the tears back that tried to surface. He's not mine. I slowly started to drift to sleep with Conner still sucking.

Part 11

"Angel, if you do not go upstairs and get our son back from that blond little girl, then I am going too!" Darla snapped.

I sighed and turned to look at her. She was turning red, which I think is extremely hard to do since we do not have blood circulating through out our bodies running. Darla gets very scary when she's mad. Even as Angelus I had stayed away from confrontations with her.

"Now Darla, maybe she just needed to feed Conner early," At this moment I would say anything I could to calm her down. Although I was worried about Buffy for a moment she looked like she was in pain. That had made me want to rush up the stairs when she looked like she was about to double over but Will, had gotten to her first. Then she had grabbed Conner, which had confused me. At the moment I wanted nothing to do but go upstairs and check on her but that would go against everything I had been trying to do the last few days. distance myself from her.

"I really don't care what you think. That's my child and I don't see any reason she has to spend time with him unless it is on the schedule. Now go up there and get him, NOW," she hollered.

"I" Whatever I didn't want to deal with her.

I started towards the stairs and I saw Will standing in the shadows he just gave me this look and shook his head. I took my time getting to Buffy's room and I was startled by," You know, I always heard that Angelus was a strong willed man or undead man; you and him are alike in that aspect. Darla is a bitch and you are letting her run all over you. Honestly I'm not sure why. I don't want to know or understand your reasons for letting her sleep in your bed. She may or may not be Conner's mother but she sure as hell doesn't act like one. The woman in that room right there acts like more of a mother than the one that's yelling like a banshee downstairs. You've let her fool you into thinking she has a soul. Why don't you find out where she goes every night when you're brooding, Angelcakes," Lorne said walking away.

"Oh and Miss Buttercup has a lovely singing voice, tell her I said she should look up that Internet site. Oh and Angel, I think that you should pay attention to your son and blondie there. Surprises are coming your way, Look at me rambling away like I'm a messenger or something," and he walked turned the corner.

Now when did Lorne enter the hotel? My senses have to be slipping. What did he mean about surprises and Darla's soul? What did he mean about Darla being or not being the mother of Conner? I watched her have the baby; of course she's the mother. I think Lorne is losing it. Remember to tell Buffy about the Internet? What the hell was that all about? I ran a hand through my hair, today was beginning to be one hell of a day and I still have several hours to go.

I was about to knock on the door but I heard what sounded like singing. I cracked the door open and I saw actually took my breath away. Buffy was lying on the bed with my son curled up feeding him. She was stroking his head and singing a lullaby and he had one fist clinched into a breast and another holding a lock of her hair. I actually just stood there, I was in complete awe. Buffy hadn't bothered with a blanket or anything but had shoved everything up. I had a nice complete view. Had her breast grown? Oh god, I groaned what the hell am I thinking.

I started to shut the door when I heard the sounds of even breathing and Conner's light snoring. I looked back over and Buffy had a sweet smile on her face, she had fallen asleep. I walked over to the bed to pick Conner up but he was still attached and sucking. Hmmm this could be a problem. Well maybe once he has hit a deep sleep he will relax enough and I can pick him up without waking her. She looks like she hasn't slept in awhile. Guilt hit me. She has been walking around like a zombie. God why the hell haven't I been helping her, instead I have been staying away, still thinking it's the best thing to do. At this point in time I'm really not sure what's the best thing to do. I sat down in the rocker and continued watching them. This is something I had always wanted to see happen but looking but then looking at her scar on her breast I feel guilty but on the other hand I get this deep satisfaction. My son did that and I did the one on her neck. She belongs to us.

I get up as soon I see he's rolled over. I get a thrill at seeing him do that. He's getting older and the fact I got a nice view of Buffy. Darla has nothing on her, but I'm right the first time she has gotten bigger. Not that I know anything about female anatomy, except what every 250 year old vampire learns over the century's. I go to grab him and pick him up and Buffy reaches out to grab him. She's still asleep I notice quickly. Shit, I don't want to wake her she would be really embarrassed.

"Conner," she whispered.

I looked down at her. The way she whispers his name, was something Darla never had. It was full of love, tenderness, motherly. She pulled him back towards him and Conner cuddles right up to her breast and he coos.
Lucky kid.

I watch them for a few more moments and I realize that's how a mother and a child should be. My mind wanders back to what Lorne said about Darla and I make up my mind to check it out, but first I need to grab Conner before Darla has a shit fit and comes up here and sees this. I really didn't want her to wake up Buffy. She's sleeping for what seems to be the first time.

I tenderly push Buffy's hair off her face and I was tempted to give her a kiss. Ever since the fight, it was more like Buffy ranting with no one else saying anything, I've been wanting to come up and hold her. I really wanted to know more about Lindsey being her brother. That was a startling piece of information. It was something that had been right under my nose and I had never known. That and maybe Lindsey would be willing to help give us some information on W&H. I know that there is no way that I can get Buffy to help me if I continue to ignore her but if I only start to act friendly around her just for that she would know in a heart beat. Plus I couldn't do it, I would want more. I would want to see that smile directed towards me. Those lips on mine, I wanted to hear her sigh my name. I wanted to feel her hands. I wanted to just hold her. I want to help her but I don't know how without holding her without loving her, my soul

She needs someone else. Someone that's not me.

I push her arms out of the way gently and I grabbed Conner who decided that he liked the comfort and the warmth that Buffy was creating. Not that I didn't blame him and he decided to cry. Instantly Buffy's eyes opened and she jumped up and snatched her shirt down and her face was red with embarrassed.

"Um..what are you doing in here?" she whispered.

I turned my head so she didn't see my emotions running through my face and to give her some privacy. "Getting my son," I told her.

"Oh, sorry we sort of fell asleep," she whispered yawning.

"Its ok, I should really go," I was trying to deal with Conner who was still screaming.

I turned back to see Buffy frown and I knew what she was about to say," No Buffy, he doesn't need to stay here with you." I said it harsher that I should have and I didn't mean how it sounded. I say her lip quiver and she nodded. Oh God, I am the biggest the jerk in the world and I cant even seem talk to the woman I love.

"You should go," she whispered. I could hear the tears in her voice.

I did the only thing I could I took off for the door.

"Buffy, Lorne said you should look up that Internet site, whatever that means," that was the last thing I said before shutting the door.

"Well Conner, your daddy just admitted that he's still in love with the most beautiful woman he knows of course he just hurt her as well," I told my sweet baby who was still crying. I felt like joining. He wanted to go back to cuddling up to the Slayers breast and I wanted to join him, however I knew that I couldn't, so I knew that my love could never be. That's why I had Darla. Now I had to find out what was going on with Darla and what Lorne meant.

When he said that, it had hurt more than anything else. However I didn't let the tears fall. What the hell, why bother? Screw him was several phrases that came to mind. I remembered what he said about Lorne that made me smile so I grabbed my computer and started my search for the site. I wrote the address down and the auditions were for later this week. Maybe I should practice at Lorne's? I sighed and went back to the bed and sat down. I thought about Conner, I had been so content having him beside me. I started to ache and that's when I felt it. The wetness. Huh, I thought and I looked down and saw two wet spots right where nipples where.

"What the hell?" I screeched .

I looked down my shirt and placed my hand on it the wetness and pulled it out. It was kind of sticky. I had this funny feeling I had just started lactating.

"Dear God," I moaned.  This was not good! I would have two very upset parents!
"God I cannot stand that place and I cant stand that brat we conceived. The Slayer has to die. She's a bitch and she needs to die," I yelled walking into an old abandoned warehouse.

"Mummy when do I get to meet my new brother?" asked a childish voice.

"Shut up Drusilla," I snapped

"Miss Edith says that he was made of sunshine," The crazy vampire said while twirling around in a circle.

I just stared at her. "Dru your nuts, believe me when I say, that Angel and I did not conceive the brat in sunshine. Now did you get dinner, I am really sick of eating from the damn butcher," she made a face while I was
speaking. Something bothered me about her vision. I ignored it when she brought two very handsome young men towards me.

"I have to kill the Slayer," I growled and vamped out.

"Yes, she took my Spikey from me," she giggled.

God she nuts, but what the hell she's the only one left that doesn't have a soul. Something caught my interest and being 400 years old I picked up on it instantly. "Dru, do you sense anything?" I asked her.

She shook her head. I could have sworn I felt something or someone watching us.

Stupid Bitch, you will pay soon for what you did," Holtz whispered.

Thank you Darla for confirming all my suspicions. I really hated having to wait weeks to put my plan in motion. Everyone in this God forsaken town is too afraid of Angelus or Angel as he is called. What a stupid name. He's no angel. No one had any information about the kid. How is it even possible that those two vampires conceived a child. So the young woman is a Slayer, very interesting. I have heard about them, I knew already she wasn't completely human. Thank you again Darla, I thought as I walked to his hotel

Now why was a Slayer, someone suppose to hunt vampires staying with what looked like three vampires and a vampire child. Why would she take care of it? Also how is it a vampire child can go outside? Looks like I get to take the child of Angelus from him like he took my children from me. I grinned and whistled the rest of the way to my room. Very very very soon my plans will be completed.


I wanted to know what Lorne meant. I wanted to say he had no idea what he was saying but I would be an idiot. Lorne was always right. Well maybe not always, always. Sometimes his logic was a little off. Of course haven't I been wondering lately about where she was going? I quickly took off towards my room from Buffy's room, which wasn't far. I opened the door and it wasn't a surprise to see that Darla wasn't there. I narrowed my eyes; I was going to get the bottom of this.

Of course there was one big problem. The unhappy camper I had in my arms. He wasn't too happy I took him from the nice warm loving embrace of Buffy. Not that I blame him. I would be unhappy too. I've been there. Conner was screaming his head off and there was no way I could get to the bottom of things with Darla with a screaming child.

"Shhhh, Con, lets go to sleep," I tried rocking him. I tried singing to him. It just made him scream worse. Not that I blamed him. I was almost at my wits end when the door opened.

"Now Angel honey what's all this screaming about?" Darla cooed.

I looked up at her and narrowed my eyes. "It seems he's just cranky, not sure why. Maybe he just wants his mommy," I told her. I actually saw her flinch, it was a tiny one and she tried to hide it well. Hmmm.

I walked over to her and thrust Conner in her arms and I noticed that she tensed up instantly. Why didn't I see this before? No wonder Conner was always cranky around her. I know why I didn't notice this before, because I had other things on my mind!

She mumbled something that sounded like stupid brat and sat down to try to feed him. I had to have heard her wrong but the more I actually watched the angrier I got. Conner was screaming his head off.  This whole scene was wrong. I flashed back to earlier when I was in Buffy's room. That had been right this was totally wrong. Darla was getting angrier and she had vamped out and shit, I ran over and snatched Conner from her.

"Don't touch him. I will be right back don't you dare leave this room," I snarled. She looked startled and nodded and I heard her mumble," Shit."  I ran out in the hall with Conner but I realized that I didn't know where I was going to go.

Fred and Will? They had mentioned going to the movies. Wesley and Giles were going over books and probably drinking, but what the hell. I ran down the stairs and of course the two were discussing the Mother Land. Pathetic. That left Buffy, since everyone else had gone home. I was about to run back up stairs but I heard music coming from "entertainment room" and I stuck my head in. Buffy was lying on the couch watching what looked like that corny movie that everyone around here liked so much. Moulin Rouge. What is it about Forbidden Love? Been there done that, it never goes well, ends horribly like going to hell. By the look on her face I would say she didn't agree with me. She almost looked like she had been crying. I glanced at the table and did a double take. There was a bowl full of ice cream. I have never known Buffy to not eat ice cream. Now that I think of it, when was the last time she's had anything to eat? Before I could think about it Conner let out a scream. The kid is not happy. Buffy didn't even bother to look over at us, but then again she probably knew we were at the door to begin with.

"What do you want? To agitate me some more Angel?" she snapped.

I was about to say something when something strange happened. Conner stopped crying. I just looked at my son and Buffy peeked over the couch.

"Neat trick, do you think you can do that a little bit longer I have some things I need to take care of?" I said not looking at her. She hit pause on the DVD player.

"So wait, Conner here can stay with me a little bit longer? Cause a few minutes ago he couldn't," she sneered.

I sighed, "Buffy, just please?"

I saw her grin and she held out her hands and wiggled her fingers like she was a waiting for a surprise. She really was happier when Conner was around. I happily gave her my son who actually started squealing. Well I guess my son was happier around Buffy. I actually started to feel jealous.

"If you hear anything don't come up stairs," and I left before she could ask and I said the same thing to the drunk Watchers who could have cared less. Personally I'm not sure if Giles is a good influence on Wesley. I'm starting to think that Giles might need therapy.
As soon as I walked in the door I slammed it and locked it. I looked around to see that Darla was outside on the balcony. She was dressed in a black nightie. I walk slowly up to her and place my hands on her shoulders and I nuzzle her neck.

"Hello lover," I whispered.

"Lover," she grinned.

I inhale and freeze. Can I be more blind?

"Darla, is there anything you want to tell me?" I ask her

She doesn't answer but runs her tongue up my neck. I shiver. I couldn't help it. She is my sire after all. I pull her back. "Lover its about time, you came to your senses and decided you belong to me," she whispered.

I snorted and pushed her away," Darla answer the question."

"What question?" She whispers walking around me like I'm her pray.

I couldn't help but shiver. Darla and I have done so many things in our long lives. Most of them have been bad so very very bad.

"Where have you been, Darla?" I whisper very softly. Honestly I don't want to know. I don't want to know if she doesn't have a soul or not. I don't want to know that my friends are right. That I have been a fool. She stopped in front of me and kissed me but I didn't kiss her back but sigh with frustration. "Darla," I snapped.

She dropped to her knees and I heard my zipper start to go down. Damnit this was not what I wanted, oh yes well this is what I wanted but, shit

I grabbed her hair and dragged her upwards till we were eye to eye. She was at least a foot or two off the ground it had to hurt but she didn't seem to mind the pain.

"Listen to me Darla, I want to know where the Fuck you were tonight. I know you are seeing Drusilla. I may not have the years you do, but I do have a few centuries and I do know the smell of one of my favorite childe," I saw her flinch. I continued, " As Angelus anyway, I know the scent well. So what I want to know is why you are seeing her. I also want to know why the hell you don't like spending time with Conner. I don't give a shit if you don't spend time with anyone else. If I find out you don't have a soul, I will stake you," I told her very quietly.

I dropped my hands and watched as she stepped back. While I was talking I didn't see a single emotion go through her face but now she looks like she might cry.

"Yes, Lover, I am seeing Dru. She saw me when I was out not to long ago. I go out sometimes to the mall. I get bored here easily. I like clothes I like shopping. You know that. She said she was the only one left that the stars and Miss Edith told her that. She said that the Slayer took her William away too. I know she's evil but I felt sorry for her. I didn't tell you about her because I knew you would get all upset," she sobbed. As much as I tried I just couldn't comfort her. I got this vibe from her. She was lying. She looked up from me and her blue eyes were watered with tears.

"As for Conner, I'm just so frustrated, he just doesn't seem to want to nurse and he doesn't seem to want to be around me.  He seems to rather be around that Slayer," she spat out.

Not that I don't blame him....

She started to sob and she walked over to me and clung to me. "Oh Angelus, my baby doesn't love me, he would rather be fed by that bitch than me," she sobbed.

I snarled," What the hell did I tell you about that?"

She looked up at me," You would rather your son be nursed by her than me. His own mother?"

I flinched, but deep down I think maybe I did. It must have shown in my eyes because Darla tried to slap me. However I was faster than she was and I grabbed her hand.

"Don't ever try that again. You may be my sire but I'm bigger and faster and this is my house," I snapped.

"This is all because of that bitch downstairs," she snapped.

That was all it took. I slapped her, and threw her across the room. She got up and came running back for more. The thing about Darla was that she never got it the first time. I stopped her before she got to me the second time.

"What did I tell you about calling her a Bitch?" I snapped.

She started laughing hysterically," You still love the little girl, how amusing Angelus. Too bad for her that I get to have you eternally and the baby. I sleep with you and you don't lose your soul. I get to have that wonderful body of yours and I have Conner. I have the things she wants more than anything. I have them," she laughed.

Don't count on it, Darla. I'm going to find out what Lorne meant then we will find out we will see who's laughing but I didn't voice them, now wasn't the time.

She was doubled over laughing and I could take it anymore, so I did what any domineering Vampire would do. I took control. I walked calmly over to the nightstand and grabbed a pair of handcuffs and walked over to Darla.

"Your kidding Angel?" She laughed when I placed them on her wrist. I hooked them to the headboard of the bed. She was still laughing and I had a grin on my face.

"I can get out of these Angel," She whispered in between laughing.

"Yes, I know you can," I said, right before I whispered the chant that wiped the smile of her face.

"YOU BASTARD!" She yelled.

"Yes, I do believe you have called me that one before," I grinned trying to get out of the way of her kicking feet.

"Damn you Angelus this is low. I'm not going anywhere," She yelled.

"Yes, I know your not. Night," I said.

"Wait your leaving me like this?" She asked.

I walked out the door without answering. Suddenly I feel better than I had in weeks
Here I am sitting by my lonesome. Will and Fred had gone to the movies, they could have invited me. Not that I would have gone, but still, I would have invited them. Their relationship has progressed rather quickly. I would say I was worried about Will, but what the hell he wasn't worried about me anymore. I got dropped like a sack of hot potatoes. Vampires with souls, so temperamental! I haven't seen much of Will since Fred came into the picture, so much for my guardian, I hope the Oracles get him. I sound jealous, maybe I am. Ok well I am jealous, its because he's found someone and they are happy. Well I mean she's happy I would be too, he sure knows what the hell he's doing in bed. She hasn't stopped grinning for days. I don't blame her she's been in that dimension for 5 years I would defiantly be horny too. Besides Will is a great catch and he can't lose his soul. Who knows if it will last but goodies for them. Wesley and Giles were getting plastered while debating on who was the best Queen Mum. Its really sad and what am I doing sitting here watching Moulin Rouge and watching my ice cream melt.

So had been a shock when Angel had interrupted my movie.   Not that it had been a bad shock. In fact it had been a very nice one when Conner was handed over to me. But what had he said about ignoring any noises? Are they going to do what I think they are going to do? Is it going to be that loud? Oh god.
I'm going to be sick!

Conner squirmed against me to remind me that he was there.

"Sorry little one, I didn't forget that you were there. My thoughts drifted towards your daddy and your ummm egg donor. That's what she's called these days," I giggled in his tummy. It made him squeal. It really was weird but sometimes I really think that Conner was a piece of me. It's strange but I feel content when he was around. It was the same feeling I use to get when Angel was around. The good ole days. That was laughable, I should say before I died or maybe I should say before he left or maybe I should say before my 17th birthday. We use to be so innocent?

With a huge sigh, I go back to Conner; there is something about him. Something that draws him to me. I can't believe he's Darla's, blah. My mind has a hard time registering that. Even though I was here when she had him! He's too cute to be Darla's. That's just my heart talking. Darla is actually pretty, if she wasn't then Angel wouldn't have been drawn to her that night even though he was drunk I have to remind myself of that. But then again Angelus wouldn't have stuck with her for 100 some odd years. I guess Xander was right he does have a thing for blonds.

Conner started nuzzling and I could feel the slight wetness under my t-shirt. Such a weird feeling. Hmm, should I? I sat up straight and looked around the room. I wonder if the door has a lock? Get a grip Buffy! I mean no one would actually know right? They would think it was just doing his regular nursing as well. I was nervous what if he didn't like the milk and he stopped taking the blood? Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god. What the hell am I doing!

But when I looked down at the innocent baby looking up at me and he was doing his best to nuzzle. I couldn't help myself, I gave him a small smile and a warning that I knew he would have no clue what it meant." Kiddo, if you don't like it remember it wasn't my fault. I had no idea how it happened," I whispered. I could feel the tears enter my eyes. I was scared to death, what if he hated it. Only one way to find out and I had to find out because he had to feed. Oh god I'm starting to babble in my head, I really need some sleep.

I placed the baby up to my breast and I noticed the tiny smile. I saw his tiny fangs come out and he latched on but he wasn't sucking. Hmm maybe he wasn't hungry. Hell maybe he just wanted a passy?

"Look Kiddo, Buffy's breast are not a passy, if you want a binky you have a mommy upstairs or your daddy can get you one from the store," I whispered. Although I couldn't help but smile, it was a cute picture because he was just staring up at me. What a little nymph.

Suddenly he started to draw blood, I was still tense. I actually needed him to nurse or I was going to have to figure out how to get rid of the milk supply I was carrying away. When I wasn't paying attention was when I felt it. His bottom lip had started sucking. Now that I think about it, he usually does that during our feedings. I watched as his little eyes lit up. He looked like he had just tasted chocolate.

"You like that?" I whispered.

"Like what," Angel said coming in behind us.

I startled and jumped. This caused Conner to let go and he started to scream.

"You know you could give a girl a warning before you start slinking in a room," I snapped.

I grabbed a pillow and gave Conner back a breast and turned the movie back on. I did my best to ignore Angel. It didn't really matter because Angel was lost in his thoughts and I was too busy watching Conner. I had joy written all over my face. I was grinning ear to ear.

"Buffy why are you so happy anyway?" he finally asked

"Nothing," I mumbled after burping Conner. I handed him to his dad. I could see he was studying his son very carefully. God I hope I cleaned him off that's the last thing I need right now, but I saw Angel sigh and he got up and headed for the door.

"Good night Buffy," he said.

"Hmm," I mumbled back

As soon as he left I couldn't help but grin! I know I should be happy about this but I couldn't help it. I felt that a piece of me just fell in place. I actually felt like calling Willow up and saying thank you.

Willow. I miss her..

I searched for the scenes before Angel had brought Conner to me and started watching Moulin rouge all over again. I love this movie. Forbidden Love. I've been there. Or am I still there? I grinned, I didn't think he was up there long enough to have any meaningful sex with Darla and he didn't look all frumpy and he didn't look like a person who just got satisfied. My grin got wider. Come on Christian, tell me about 'All we need is Love' I need some inspiration about now and also for tomorrow at Carita's


"Oh no no no no no, this is not happening," I moaned, trying on my fourth top. How in the hell am I suppose to hide this? Hello, My boobs are like three times bigger. Its like hello look at my boobs! I don't have a face or anything just boobs!

"Mmmmmmmmmmm, whhhhhhhaaaaaaaaa," I cried and fell on the bed.

I just stared at the ceiling and contemplated at what was happening. I haven't told anyone yet. For one reason I didn't want to start a war with mega bitch. Two I didn't want to know the reason this was happening. Call me crazy but it felt right. It felt so damn right to give Conner blood and milk at the same time. His eyes lit up when he got a little squirt of milk and when he realized he could get both he started sucking harder and I heard his little squeal of pleasure and my heart started beating faster.

I'm not sure how it happened and honestly I don't care. Now how to break it to the parents was a different story! Or do I? I grabbed a silk green shirt and a pair of leather pants. I quickly placed my leather boots on and just twisted my hair up. I grabbed my leather trench coat. I almost grabbed the old coat Angel had given me all those years ago. That would have been a mistake. Off to sing my soul away and I headed down to meet the gang. God please if your listening tell me Angel and Darla are staying home to the "Family Bonding" crap.

I look over the railing, "Shit", I whispered. It was loud enough for both Will and Angel to look up and Darla to give me and eat shit and die look but she had this look on her face. It was something I wanted to walk over and slap off. I narrowed my eyes.

"Well looks like tonight is going to be one hell of a night," Cordelia tried to grin.

I don't even bother to look at her but looked at Darla and Angel. " Why the hell are you two even coming with us? Its not like Darla even wants to be with around us," I snapped. I was confused. Darla had not wanted to be around us and honestly that was a good thing.

"She's coming with us because I want to go," Angel said with his arms crossed. He looks like a child when he does that.

I just stared at him confused and rolled my eyes and mumbled, "Whatever." Ya, uh huh I sounded like a 10 year old.

"Buffy are you ready?" Lindsey called from the door.

I grinned when I heard Angel growl and Darla hiss. "Opps, did I forget to mention to tell you that Lindsey is coming with us?" I said sweetly.
I just turned on the radio, I give up.

We finally got there and Angel and Darla were already there. Did he know some back way there or did he just speed there? Darla was sitting on one side of the table and Angel on the other side and she was glaring at him and he was ignoring her. What the hell was that all about? We all walked over to the table and sat down. Figures I had a choice, to either sit by Angel or Darla. Which is the worse evil. One look at Lindsey's face to see he was having the same problem. He hated Angel but he didn't want to sit by Darla and looking at Darla I could tell she was having a hard time with Lindsey being around. Stupid Bitch.

I was saved from deciding by Lorne running up to the table. "Buttercup, are you going to sing tonight?" he asked

"That was the plan," I said dryly but honestly there was too many people I knew here and I wasn't drunk enough.

I chuckled," Lorne come on be a sport and hook me up just a tad bit to loosen me up, and ill sing all you want, oh and I bet I can even get my older sibling to play," I said sweetly giving him my best and brightest smile. I saw Lorne's face Light up and he took off for the counter.
"No way, I'm not going," said Cordy

I just shrugged and started towards the door. The whole thing was getting on my nerves. "Look you guys can come with us or not. Its up to you but I plan on having fun. Will you and Fred coming?" I asked I was really missing my friend. I wasn't going to beg.

"Of course Buffy," Will said and I saw Fred give him a look. 

I sighed and walked towards Lindsey. This is going to be one hell of an evening. I really am giving up on the 'Lets have a fun night idea'.

Lindsey and I decided to take my car. "I cannot believe that dad bought you this," he said as we walked up to the jeep.

"Want to drive?" I handed him the keys. " I promise I wont tell him," I joked. We hopped in the car and I heard the back doors open and noticed that Cordelia and Gunn got in along with Fred and Will. I looked outside to see Angel and Darla arguing but he pushed her into his car. I wondered what that was all about. Actually I don't give a damn.

"All right Lindsey, do you know where we are going?" I asked.

"Of course he does don't you Lin," Cordelia sneered from the back.

"Oh I do not think so Lorne," Angel said.

"Shut up Angel no one asked you and besides ill be 21 very soon, so shut up and mind your own damn business," I snapped.

"Buffy, you don't need a drink," he snapped back.

"Here ya go, Buttercup," Lorne said coming back with the drink.

"OHHHH thank you Lorne, you know I have missed these, they are totally sinful," I squealed with delight as I drank my Strawberry Daiquiri.

I licked my lips and I could feel pair of eyes were on me and I did it sensually. I heard the groan and I also heard a growl from Darla.. I held the grin in.

"Alright, you ready to sing?" Lorne asked.

"Yup, Lindsey do you want to play, the guitar for me?" I asked my older brother.

"Anytime, ummm what are we playing?" he asked.

I smiled and said, "Let him fly."

"Your mom use to like that song," he said. I just nodded.

"We have a special treat for you tonight. We have Buffy Summers the Slayer," Lorne said. Several people actually got up and clapped. It was the regulars. I grinned. The ones that booed I just opened my jacked. I had a nice stake, they started clapping. I couldn't help but giggle.

Lorne, continued," Yes and her brother most of you remember, Lindsey McDonald." He also got several cheers. That got my attention obviously he has been here before. So that's what Cordelia meant. Sometimes I am blond. I also couldn't help but wonder about the stares he was getting from the people at the corner table. I also had that strange feeling again like I was being watched. After I finished singing I was going to get to the bottom of this.

We walked up on stage and he sat on the stool and tuned Lorne's guitar and got the feel of it. He muttered something about that he should have brought his. I agreed he should know better by now.

"Ready," he whispered.

Lorne came running up on the stage with a chair and I grinned at him and mumbled a thanks. I took the microphone off the stand and I sat beside Lindsey and I exhaled. I nodded to him I let the words flow and I started off in almost a whisper.

Lorne came running up on the stage with a chair and I grinned at him and mumbled a thanks. I took the microphone off the stand and I sat beside Lindsey and I exhaled. I nodded to him I let the words flow and I started off in almost a whisper.

Ain't no talkin' to this man
Ain't no pretty other side
Ain't no way to understand
Stupid words of pride
It would take an acrobat
And I already tried all that
I'm gonna let him fly

My voice got stronger

Things can move at such a pace
The second hand just waves goodbye
You know the light has left his face
You can't recall just where or why
So, there was really nothin' to it
I just wanna cut right through it
I said, I'm gonna let him fly
Ooh, yea yeah

There's no mercy in a live wire
No rest at all in freedom
Choices we are given
There's no choice at all, uh huh
The proof is in the fire
You're tough before it,
It moves away, yea
But you must always know
How long to stay
And when to go.

I lowered my voice again

And there ain't no talkin' to this man
He's been tryin' to tell me so
It took awhile to understand
The beauty of just letting go
Cuz it would take an acrobat
And I already tried all that
I'm gonna let him fly
I'm gonna let him fly, fly
I'm gonna let him fly, fly
Well, I'm gonna let him fly.

I just grinned and hugged Lin and headed back to the table, the gang was applauding us. Angel didn't look too happy but he was clapping, guess he thought the song was about him. However I did listen to the song a lot when he first left me. Lorne came running back up to us. "Oh no you have to do an encore, I don't actually get people in here to often that can hold a tune. Besides I saw a few things that I want to discuss with you and it wasn't exactly clear so go sing," he begged.  I shook my head, since when does Lorne beg?

I looked at Lin who was heading down the stairs. "I'm done sis, you my dear are all on your own," he said.  I sighed and agreed. "Alright pick the song, Lorne but make it easy,"

I walked back up on the stage, Damn him. I should have known by the grin. I hate Celine Dion, since the Kathy thing. ARGHHHHHHHHHH, Stupid Lorne, he's going to pay!

I really don't have a clue why I wanted to come. I had other things to worry about, like my son and Darla. Maybe it was just the fact I wanted to get out. Maybe it was the simply that I wanted my friends to get off my back, especially Cordelia. Or maybe it was because I wanted to see Buffy carefree and smiling. I wanted to see her in tight fitting jeans and a silk top that brought out the green in her eyes with my silver cross I had given her when we first met hidden under the shirt. I knew it was there. I could see it peaking out. Ya, right, I snort. That was cut short as soon as she saw Darla and I saw Lindsey. So what the hell am I still doing here in this damn bar?

"I can't believe you gave her alcohol," I growled to the green demon that had taken Buffy's seat she had just vacated.

"Hmph, please, there was no alcohol in there, she knew it, she's a little skitzo since the cave girl incident. Something about not trusting any bartenders," He told me.

I just looked at him. This was not the first time I have heard this. I really wanted to find out the whole story. "Lorne what the hell are you talking about?" I ask. Come on please tell me? I knew she wasn't going to tell me.

I heard a giggle. I should have known.

"You can't keep secrets and why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"Are you kidding, Buffy would seriously kill me for this one. She's slay girl. All super powers and all. I'm not saying a word," Cordy laughed.

I turned back towards the stage where Lindsey was tuning up. I was not happy at all he was here. Hell I wasn't happy that he was on stage. Just because he could sing and play. I was actually jealous of her smiling up at him. He was her brother, still hard for me to believe.

"It runs in the family, "Lorne said. Does he know what I'm thinking?

I sipped my drink and watched Buffy take a deep breath. She really was beautiful. The lights where hitting her just right on stage. She opened her eyes and they were shinning and she started to sing. I had heard her singing softly to Conner but this was different. This had emotion that I had never heard before. I listened to the words and it hit hard.

"Oh she sings so well," Fred said
"Hmm, Ya I guess she does," Cordy said. I looked at her to see she was somewhat jealous. I smiled at her.

"Whatever," Darla said. I could have sworn I heard her mumble Dumb Bitch. I glanced at her sharply but she smiled at me and winked. I shook my head, bringing her was a bad mistake but it was my choice I made the rules and she knew it.

"Poor girl," Lorne hissed.

I turned sharply to him. "What did you see," I asked but he was already up and running towards Buffy. What did he see? I had to know? Everyone was on their feet clapping and I stood but and clapped but I wasn't smiling. Did she mean me? Was she letting me go? Lindsey came back and sat down and I watched as Lorne pulled her back on stage.

"What's he doing," Fred whispered.

"He wants her to sing again," Lindsey said.

"Why?" I snapped. The all glanced at me.

"Sorry, " I mumbled.

"Something about reading her," He said before taking a sip of his drink. Graceful way to end the conversation.

Now I really wanted to know what he saw if he was making her sing again. I saw her violently shake her head at something and Lorne was grinning. I took the opportunity to look around the room. I had noticed several W&H staring at Lindsey, but there was something else that was trying to get my attention. I'm not sure what it was but it was like someone was watching me or us. I looked around the room but I didn't see anyone or anything so I shrugged and looked back to Buffy who had walked back on stage.

She had this hilarious look on her face. I couldn't help but laugh. She gave me a nasty look. That just made me laugh harder. I thought she was going to throw a fit or something but instead she smiled. I think I just fell in love with her again.

"All right, Miss Summer's is going to sing again, Celine Dion, Immortality, I picked this out just for her to sing," Lorne boomed into the microphone.

Buffy snatched the mic from him and said," Thanks" she took a deep breath in and listened to the music. My eyes never left her face.

(Immortality by Celine Dion)
So this is who I am,
And this is all I know,
And I must choose to live,
For all that I can give,
The spark that makes the
power grow
And I will stand for my
dream if I can,
Symbol of my faith in who I
But you are my only,
And I must follow on the road
that lies ahead,
And I won't let my heart
control my head,
But you are my only
And we don't say goodbye,
And I know what I've got to
I make my journey through
I keep the memory of you and
me inside
Fulfill your destiny,
  Is there within the child,
My storm will never end,
My fate is on the wind,
The king of hearts, the joker's
But we don't say goodbye,
I'll make them all remember
'Cos I have found a dream
that must come true,
Every ounce of me must see it
But you are my only
I'm sorry I don't have a role
for love to play,
Hand over my heart I'll find
my way,
I will make them give to me
There is a vision and a fire in
I keep the memory of you and
me, inside
And we don't say goodbye
We don't say goodbye
With all my love for you
And what else we may do
We don't say, goodbye

My eyes never left her face. She had tears flowing down her face. She had sung the words beautifully. The words had a special meaning. We had never said good-bye to each other. I love this woman, as she was singing this song I realized that. I wanted to hold her, touch her, feel her, kiss her, I never wanted to say good bye. I wanted to fulfill  my destiny with her. I had made all my decisions based on my head, not my heart. How have I been so blind? She has been everything to me, the person that makes me tick, the spark that makes my power grow, my sunlight. And at this moment my sunlight is looking like she's about to breakdown.
Everyone around us is on their feet clapping and I was still sitting here contemplating everything that was going on in my mind.  There was still the fact I couldn't give her a normal life. I was still immortal, but I had a child. A child who seems to love her more than his own mother. Who at this moment was making smart ass comments.

"Shut up Darla," I sneered.

"Can we just go?" She snapped.

"Yes in just a minute," I said and I grabbed her arm. I didn't trust her not to go anywhere. I headed towards Buffy and Lorne. I could see Lorne talking to her and He hugged her she was sobbing. What was all that about.

"Oh God no," She sobbed.

"You need to talk to them," he said.

"Talk about what?" I said.

She looked up and I could see pain in her eyes and she took off towards Lindsey. I looked back to Lorne.

"Aww poor Fluffy got sad," Darla giggled. I just gripped her arm harder.

"Did I miss something?" I asked Lorne.

"I just told her a few things." He told me

"Why don't you tell me?" I asked him. He looked at me like I was crazy.

"You know the rules. You will have to get her to talk," He said. I sighed, that should be fun. Like talking to a rock.

"What I can tell you is you need to pay more attention to that scarecrow, if you get my drift. Also, things are coming your way, Angel cakes, major things and you need to be prepared emotionally," Lorne said.

I was confused "Lorne, don't I need to sing for you to tell me this?" I asked

"I got this from Blondie, she's not in a great state right now," he said pointing at the table who had two less people.

"I'm still confused Lorne," I said.

"I'm sorry Angel that's all I can tell you," he grabbed my arm and squeezed.

"Oh Hey Darla, I remember you had a wonderful voice, would you like to try singing a wonderful Patsy Cline? She's pretty soulful" He grinned.

"Screw you, green boy," Darla snarled and marched off to the table.

"She's such a happy camper. I'm sure you and Conner will be so happy with her," he said the walked off.

I ran my hands through my hair and walked to the table where I was greeted with.

"Where is Buffy?"

"What happened?"

What the hell did that Green Freak do to her?"

"Lorne say something to her?"

"She just couldn't handle it, She had to leave, poor wittle fluffy," Darla said sweetly.

"Angel, what the hell is she doing here?" Cordy asked.

"Look I don't know what happened. We can either leave or we can stay. Its up to you guys," I said.

Secretly I was hoping that they would all agree to go home and when they did decide to go back I was thrilled. I needed to know if she was ok and I wanted to check on Conner.

I couldn't get back to the car fast enough.

"Ya know she's not going to want you," Darla said. She was pouting.

"Who said I wanted her? I still sleep with you don't I?" I said.

"Ha, Ya you sleep with me, Not sex you just sleep with me as in SLEEP," she sneered.

I didn't say anything but kept my eyes on the road.

"I should have stayed with Lindsey," she muttered.

That got my attention.

"Ya, maybe you should have, but then again you wouldn't have Conner," I told her. She looked as if she didn't care. The more I watch the more I swear she doesn't have a soul.

"Well if you had stayed with Lindsey without a soul, Buffy would have staked you," I simply said before I walked up the steps of the hotel.

I heard her scream of rage and I smiled. Screw her!

Part 14

I ran as fast as I could but when I got to the Jeep I had one slight problem. No keys. Damn, I forgot that I let Lin, drive. I guess that means I have to walk back in the club. No, um no that was not an option, walking was starting to sound good.
Stupid Lorne, ok he wasn't stupid but I sure as hell didn't want to know what he told me. One was my dream come true and the other was my worse nightmare. I leaned back on the car. Why the hell did I come here? I knew there was something wrong with me more than just being super slayer.
I was lost in thoughts that I didn't even notices someone was standing beside me.

"Looking for these?" Lindsey asked, dangling the keys. I just nodded and tried to reach for them.

"Um no, sorry but I think you have some explaining first and then I think I'll drive you home," he told me.

I snorted, " Trust me Lin you don't want to know," I told him. The tears fell faster and I felt his arm come around me.

"Come here," he said and he let me sob. "Ya know this is kind of like the time you and Celia were playing Power Rangers and you decided to try to fly, broke your arm. I actually got to act like a big brother. The only time Joyce let me be around you," he whispered trying my tears.

I smiled, I remembered that day. Those were the good ole days when things in life had been simple and Celia had been alive. I was about to ask him if we could leave when I felt that presence again.

"Lindsey, I forgot my purse inside, I'll be right back can you meet me around back?" I asked. He gave me an odd look but he should know better by now and I took off in a run.

I was sick of feeling like someone was following me. Tonight it was going to end. I was a Slayer, I may be temporary off duty but I'm still damn good at what I do and my spider senses were going overdrive. Personally it was driving me crazy. I looked around and I didn't see anyone but from personally experience that didn't mean much. I headed towards the alley. In every scary movie that's the worse place to go. As soon as I stepped in I knew that I was correct because a hand reached out and grabbed me but this moron had no clue who I was because I had him by the throat and against the wall in a second.

"Can I help you?" I snapped.

"Actually I think you can," he said.

Wonderful another cryptic guy. I let him go because I figured I could take him out in a second. I looked at him, I would say he was an older gentleman maybe in his 40's but his clothes was what caught my attention.

"Um.. you're not from around here are you?" I asked

He just smiled. "Bright girl," he said

The smile gave me the wiggins. I felt like running actually.

"What can I do for you, I mean since you have been following me around?" I snapped.

His smile turned into a grin. I shivered, he was really creeping me out. "Actually my dear, I just want you to give your master a message," he said.


"Whoa, wait up, my master? Who has a master? What the heck are you talking about?" I snapped.

I saw a bit of confusion in his eyes. "So your telling me that you're staying with that monster on your own free will?" he sneered.

"What are you talking about?" I said

"Look you tell Angelus and Darla them Holtz said Hi," he said.

I just looked at him. "What did they do to you?" I whispered. He mentioned Angelus not Angel.

I saw the look of pain cross his face. "Just tell them I said hi, they will know what I'm talking about. If I were you I would leave and fast," he said. In a flash he had turned and disappeared in the alley.

I didn't give it another thought till I got safely in the Jeep.

"What took so long Buff?" Lin asked.


God I remember what Angelus could do, what had he done to that man to make him come after Angel and Darla? His clothes had looked like they were from a different time. Another question was how? Angel just lost his soul a few years ago and Darla wasn't dust that only left when she was alive when Angelus was running free several centuries ago?

Lindsey was snapping his fingers in front of my face. That was very annoying and very brotherly like

"Oh sorry Lin, what were you saying?" I asked

"I was asking if you want to talk about what Lorne said to you?" he sighed

I sat there for a few minutes before saying, "Lindsey, I know you worked with those evil lawyers and you brought Darla back but do you believe in the Powers that Be?" I whispered

He looked over at me and arched an eyebrow. "Well I guess if I can believe in the senior partners and sell my soul then yes I can believe in them," he said very slowly.

"Well they have truly fucked up my life," I snapped.

"What?" he asked.

"Honestly I don't want to talk about it, but they are the ones who have caused all my problems and Lorne says I should tell my secrets. I shouldn't keep them bottles up inside." I said

"Well. I think he is right about that," he said although I don't think he really had a clue on what to say.

We pulled up to the Hyperion and he handed me my keys. "Ya, know Buffy if you need to talk, you just let me know," he whispered and gave me a hug.

While we were hugging I whispered,"Lorne mentioned Conner is my son." I kissed him on the cheek and walked up the stairs. I knew Lindsey was stunned by the news. It wasn't the only thing Lorne had told me and for some reason I had known this from the start. Conner had always felt like a part of me. I opened the door, hopefully everyone is asleep and I can just get by without speaking about tonight. Honestly I didn't want to think about the other "HUGE" new development in my life.

Part 15

I ran up the steps and threw the door open and froze.

"Yummy," Darla whispered licking her lips. I turned to look at her. She gave me an innocent look.

"Angel I'm glad to see you. I was told my Princess was with you?" Groo said.

I just nodded but my attention was on my one of a kind 1800th ancient Chinese sword he was swinging around like it was nothing.

"Angel your back, thank God. None of you had your cell phones on you," Wesley said sounding frazzled. Well I would be too if I had to watch my weapons being miss handled like this. It never even a cured to me that he was talking about something else or even why or how Groo got here.

"Where is Buffy?" I asked.

"She's not here. Look Conner hasn't stopped screaming," he said bluntly. That got my attention and I took off towards Giles who was holding my son. Conner was screaming his little lungs out. I took him from Giles and he quieted down a little bit but he was still sobbing and had the hiccups.

"Are you hungry, little one?" I asked. I turned to look at Darla who was staring at the Groo.

"Darla," I snapped.

"What?" She snapped back

I saw the watchers exchange looks.

"Maybe Conner is hungry don't you think you should try to feed him?" I told her. It was more of a demand.

"Whatever," she said. I handed him over to her and he just started screaming more. This was not good.

"Angel why don't you hold him and calm him down first and then get him to try to eat?" Wesley said. For someone who didn't have children that sounded like a good idea. I nodded.

"Now where did he come from and why is he playing with my weapons, those are my babies," I slightly whined. Darla just groaned, I gave her a sharp look and pointed to the nice collection of wooden stakes. She just shrugged.

"I have no clue, he just showed up saying something about Plea's democracy breaking up and he wanted to see his princess," Wesley said.

"Whatever floats his boat," I said. Where the hell did that saying come from? Giles and Wesley gave me an odd look. I quickly changed the subject.

"You said Buffy isn't here?" I asked. I was actually very nervous about that. They nodded.

"She found out a few things from Lorne, and she took off with Lindsey. I figured she would come back here but I guess not," I whispered. I was getting more nervous as the seconds ticked by. What if something happened to her?

"Groo?" Squealed Cordelia.

"Princess?" Groo yelled from across the room.

It was almost sickening to watch actually. Almost like a movie they ran across the room and kissed. I covered Conner's eyes. "You are too young to see this young man," I whispered. I listened to them babble on about why he was here till I was bored to death, well actually that took about two minutes.

"Whose the hunk?" Buffy said from the door.

My head whipped around and I quickly did a check she looked ok except she looked like a lost little girl who had been crying.

"OHHH Buffy this is Groo," Cordy said.

Buffy walked over to where I was sitting with Conner and patted his head and Conner seemed to calm down a little and she arched an eyebrow towards Cordelia, "And?" she questioned.

"Ohh well why were there Angel could go out in the sun its where we got Fred and I got made Princess and I was going to have to mate with Groo here. They made me where this Harem costumes. Of course when we came back well ya know," she said.

"Oh so your saying that you got made a princess and were going to have to mate with this huge lovable tender warrior. God am I drooling? My life sucks cause I was just jumping off a tower to save the world. Want to trade?" she grinned.

I frowned I did not want to hear her say this, which thankfully Conner decided to get cranky again.

"Darla I really think you should try to feed him now," I said.

"Ya whatever," she said.

"Are you sure Conner is hungry for that?" Buffy said. I looked at her and she turned away.

Darla grabbed Conner from me and lifted her shirt and tried to place Conner right to her breast. What did I expect for her to go up to her room. She did it right there everyone turned around.





"Darla I really meant up in our room," I told her. Buffy was starting to get real antsy. Conner was screaming.
"He doesn't want to eat Angel, I don't think he's hungry," she said.

I heard Buffy try to hide a chuckle and suddenly she was on her feet and she grabbed Conner and she took off for her room.

"You bitch, bring him back! Right now," Darla screeched.

I just sat there stunned. What was going on? Buffy had this huge grin on her face when she had grabbed him.

"You go girl," Cordelia said.

"Cordelia," I scolded like she was a five year old.

"What sorry but its plain to see that Conner hates the bitch you have sitting beside you and likes Buffy. Actually I think Conner thinks that Buffy is his mother. Night come on Groo lets see what you look like underneath that leather," she said grinning.

"Ohh and boss, I'm guessing that's you Wes, I wont be in tomorrow or maybe the next day ill call if there is a vision," she was still grinning.

"I'm out of here too," Gunn said.

I turned to look at the remaining two. They nodded and they left to go upstairs. The only person left was Darla because the Watchers had also left. Didn't care where they had gone.

"You stupid ass you go up there and get my son, do you hear me?" She yelled. How can I not hear her?

"I want my son back, it hurts when I don't nurse," she whined.

"Darla you're a vampire you can handle pain," I snapped.

"GO GET MY SON," she yelled.

"Darla let me put this in terms your simple mind might understand. Shut the Fuck up and go upstairs. If I bring him to you or not you will stay up stairs all night without complaining," I said very slowly and very clearly.

She marched up stairs and turned back around and grinned," Angel, I really would watch yourself around me. I know many many things your precious Buffy would not want to know," she said.

I watched her leave and I followed her instead of going to my room I went to Buffy's room. I knocked on the door and I heard her say come in. I opened the door to see Buffy nursing my son. Guess he was hungry.

She was sitting in the rocker and she rocking him softly and talking to him. Telling him about her day. She looked up at me and I saw something flash through her eyes. 

I stood leaning against the doorway and I just watched for a few minutes. "Buffy you shouldn't have taken him from his mother," I told her. I saw anger flash through her face and it went back to being neutral. She continued to rock Conner who was cooing while he was nursing.

"You didn't have the right to do that," I told her.

She finally looked up at me with a smile and said," Oh I have all the right in the world."
I had to smile at the look on his face. It had been a shock to me, so I know it was going to be a shock to him. Hell but I was the one who didn't get to carry Conner and I wasn't the one who gets to spend all the time with him. Thanks to Angel. I think he should suffer a little bit.

"What do you mean by that Buffy?" he asked. His eyes narrowed a little bit.

"Honestly all this can wait till Conner goes to bed Angel," I said. Actually since my little jog to the alley way I had been feeling extremely weak and since Conner was nursing I was feeling dizzy.

"Sure, I guess it can, but I want to know," he snapped He sat down at my table where my computer and books where. OH god don't start going through them, I had bought a book on nursing. I had found out that an adoptive mom sometimes can produce milk by having the child suck if they are newborns. OH please please please don't find it! One topic at a time. I mean hello Im surprise he doesn't smell the milk. Which would make sense he knows what it smells like right?
I frowned at that thought.  The more Conner nursed the more dizzer I got.

"Angel," I whispered.

He looked over at me. I motioned for him to come here and take Conner and I tried to stand up but the darkness was just so comforting. The last thing I remember was Angel shouting and opps I forgot about freaking 1800 century  dude.

Part 16
I watched helplessly as Buffy fell. I couldn't catch her since I was holding Conner. I quickly placed him on the bed and knelt down to her and called out to her.

"Buffy?" I said shaking her.

She moaned and I picked her up and placed her on the bed next to Conner and picked up the baby and ran downstairs where I was greeted to Cordy and Groo. Cordy, I thought she left already?

Cordy, I thought you left a few minutes ago?" I asked reaching for the phone.

"Don't bother I already called and yes I did leave and one day the PTB are going to have a nice spot in Heaven for me. You would think they could at least wait till I was out of the car to give me the vision. Noooo Groo is freaking out he has never been in a car before and now I have to force him back in the damn car. I was really looking forward to getting him out of that leather," She snapped.

I flinched, damn I didn't even want to think about what could have happened, and I wasn't even going to think about Groo. Groo who?

"The paramedics are on their way. What happened, I only saw Buffy fall and you hovering over her," she asked grabbing Conner and I just ran back upstairs.

"What happened to who?" Will asked when I stumbled past him.

"Buffy," I managed to make out. Somehow he manage to make it to her room before me, I'm still not sure how.

I just stood there while he crawled on the bed and pulled her toward him." Buffy wake up," he whispered.

"What happened?" he asked. He looked at me like he was accusing me of something.
I backed away and said," I dunno." Ok maybe that sounded a little childish actually that sounded like something Xander would have said.

"Angel, what the hell happened," he growled, yellow eyes flashing.

"Look she was nursing Conner and she looked sick and she just passed out," I told him. I was starting to get defensive my own eyes flashing. I didn't do anything to her.

"She doesn't look to good," he whispered. I nodded, I really wanted to push him out of the way and pick her up and cradle her in my arms.

"Will," she whispered.

"Hey," he said.

"I don't feel so good," she whispered.

"I know," he told her and she fell unconscious again.

He looked back over at me. "Cordy said she called the paramedics?" He asked. I walked over and kneeled beside him, she looked bad. I nodded.

"Lets get her downstairs for when they arrive," he said.

He went to pick her up and I just grabbed her from him. I didn't care, this was my mate and she was sick. I never saw the grin on Will's face. As I was holding her I realized how light she was. When was the last time she had anything to eat? I could feel her hipbones. I closed my eyes and inhaled and I caught a whiff of something. It smelled familiar but at the same time I didn't recognize it. I quickened my steps when I heard the paramedics arrive. It's starting to become habit around here.

One hour later I'm pacing the ER lobby. Everyone else stayed back at the hotel except for Giles and Darla and Will. Darla goes wherever I go and right now she's annoying the hell out of everyone. If I thought that I could get enough drugs to knock her sweet ass out I would. Conner had been left in the care of Wesley and Fred. Fred said she wasn't going to spend the next several hours sitting next to Darla and her skanky ho self. Our little Fred is starting to emerge from a shy Willow to a blossoming Red Rose. I couldn't help the smile that graced my face.

They had taken Buffy right in, I guess because the ambulance. I have been pacing for what seems forever.

"Angel I really need to go home and feed Conner," she said holding her breast.

She really doesn't care what she does in public. I just keep reminding myself it's the demon in her or the new mother in her. Cordelia would say I was just making excuses maybe I was but right now I just needed her to stay put. I didn't like the idea of her seeing Dru. I saw Giles look away and reach in his jacket; I knew he had a stake on him. He didn't trust Darla one bit, not that I didn't blame him I think she tried to bite him once.

"Not now, Darla as soon as Buffy is free to go home then we will leave," I snapped.

"Whatever," she mumbled and I could have sworn I heard her mumble a few other words but I just ignored them.

A few minutes later a Dr. came out through the double doors that said DO NOT ENTER. Those words had bugged me since I had started pacing. I wasn't one for rules.

"Yes I'm looking for a Mr. Winthrop," he said. My heart dropped it wasn't Buffy's Dr.

"That's me," Will said. I looked up at him in surprise. His last name is Winthrop? Of course I never really took the time to find out, not that I cared.

"Is she ok?" Will asked. I was begging to ask the questions but the Dr. was talking to Will. Stupid Will what about me. My jealousy was in full mode my huge green monster was in high gear.

"If you will follow me I will tell you about her condition," he said walking towards the door.

Will looked back at Giles and me and said "Actually Dr. these gentlemen are her family and we would all like to know what's going on."

"Well not me," Darla said grinning.

"Shut the fuck up Darla," Giles said he pulled the tip of the stake out. I think that was Ripper I just saw.

The Dr. turned around and said, "I'm sorry but its patient confidentiality but I can tell you since she has you listed on her medical records if anything happens to her. Please if you will come with me," he said. I watched helpless as they walked through those double doors and disappeared.

"Angel sit down. Your not doing anyone any good by making tracks on the floor, "Giles snapped.

"I I'm going to go and call and see how Conner is, " I said and stepped outside to use the phone. I walked around so I could still see the lobby and I saw Darla get up and I tapped on the window, she turned around and scowled. I grinned and pointed towards the chair.

I sighed I really didn't need this right now. As soon as I found out Conner was fine I walked in to see Will walking out those dreaded doors. He had a look on his face I couldn't interpret.

"Well how is she and what's wrong?" I asked. He just looked at me and decked me.

I grabbed my jaw. "OW! What the hell was that for and OW!" I yelped.

Darla was laughing. "Oh God that was great," She laughed.

He just stared at me and sat down.

"What's gotten into you, Will?" asked Giles.

"I should have paid more attention to her, we all should have. We should have known. Angel you should have known, aren't you suppose to be her soul mate?" He snapped and I flinched but he continued speaking, "I let them know that you could go back there. I..umm.. well.. what the Dr's told me I think Buffy should tell you," he said.

I suddenly had the urge to run.

"Just go through the doors and it's the first room on the left," he said. It was the expression on his face that just made me want to be anywhere but here. I knew I wasn't going to like the news.

"I should have been there for her, I stopped being there. I stopped being the friend I was. The protector, the Oracle said. I should have known, but I was wrapped up in other things," he whispered with his head in his hands.

Ya that's right Will just keep saying that. It sounded like something out of that Old black and white show the Twilight Zone. You're making me not want to go through those doors. I slowly walked towards the doors but before I walked through them I turned around and said, "Will make sure Darla doesn't go anywhere." I didn't even look to see if he nodded before I walked through the doors. I saw her room. A nurse walked out as I was walking in.

"Hmm, so you're the father, deadbeat," she said.

"What?" I said.

"You men, never take care of the mothers anymore. What happened to men who appreciate the mothers," she snapped and she walked away in a huff.

Well that left me even more confused. I walked in the room to see Buffy lying on the bed asleep. She was so tiny, so beautiful, and so pale. How did I not notice she was getting like this? Of course the answer came to me but I just pushed it aside like I had done everything else. I sat down beside her and pushed her hair out of her face and grabbed her hand and kissed her. I noticed that she had an IV in and I wondered why and I just sat here and waited till she decided to wake up.

Beep Beep Beep, I heard.

"Uggh, not again," I groaned. I didn't even bother to open my eyes to know I was at a hospital. This was my third trip in less than six months after all. However I also didn't have to open my eyes to know that Angel was in the room and he was holding my hand. Well actually I was going to open my eyes because I wanted to see this.

Why was he holding my hand? Oh God If I'm in a hospital that means OH SHIT! I groaned again and I felt more pressure on my hand. I peaked my eyes open to see that Angel was sitting beside me staring at me. I wonder how bad I looked?

"Hey," I whisper.

"Hey," he whispers back.

He's staring at me. Does he know? He has to know, why else would be here staring at me with those brown eyes that makes me want to drown in. I could feel myself starting to drool.

"Buffy, I'm sorry," he said.

Now why is he apologizing? I mean its not like he doesn't have a ton to apologize but he didn't place me in this bed.

"Angel look, it's my fault I just found out yesterday and I was the one who wasn't eating right. I didn't know that the milk and the blood were going to dehydrate me this quickly," I said.

"Buffy we should have been paying more attention, I know Conner has been taking a lot of blood from yo. did you say milk?" he said his eyes growing huge.

Oh boy he didn't know, oh damn I opened my huge mouth!

"No, I just said blood," I said smoothly. Good one, score one for me!

However Angel wasn't buy it because he was staring at me and the fact that I had two nice wet spots on the sheet didn't help either. Oh Damnit. I just looked at him and he was looking at me. We were both loss for words. Hell I didn't know what to say, I mean what exactly do you say? Hey look sorry but I sort of started producing milk and oh by the way the kids mine? Oh ya he was gonna take that well, hmmm I could get rid of Darla. I started to grin.

"What's the grin all about Buffy," he snapped.

"Ya know Angel, You came into my room. My hospital room you could at least not snap at me," I said still grinning.

He sighed," Buffy, please just tell me what's going on?"

"Sure if you promise not to get all broody and upset on me," I said.

He nodded. Somehow I didn't believe him.

"Look this is all I know, yesterday I started leaking milk, but I was having pain for a few weeks. Tonight Lorne told me among other things. Are you ready for this?" I asked. I saw him nod.

"Well he said I am Conner's mother, so you better get that whore away from my child," I snapped.

He just stared at me and started laughing.

"Its not funny Angel, if you want a DNA sample I suggest you get it done. Or maybe I will just take Conner away. Considering I'm alive. She will never get her hands on him again," I sneered

"Oh god Buffy, I never even slept with you," he laughed.

"Take it as you want. You know the truth but as usual you see what you want. I'm warning you she is not to lay a hand on my son. She's not to nurse him she's not to touch him. I'm leaving this place tonight. If I see her she's dust," I said looking him straight in the eye.

He looked like he had been slapped." You're serious?" he asked. I just nodded.

"Look Buffy, I don't know what's going on but I'm going to find out. Darla has a soul doesn't she? She carried our son. Darla's and mine, not yours. She is staying at the hotel. I have my reasons," I snapped.

I just stared at him like he had lost his mind." Are you that dense? Look at him Angel, he looks just like you and me, not Darla and he hates her. He doesn't even want to nurse from her. As for the soul thing get real. You just want her around so you can screw her, now get out," I yelled.

"Fine, but this is not over," he snapped but before he could walk out the Dr. walked in.

"Hello, I assume you are the Fiancé, Mr. Winthrop mentioned," he said. Both of us looked confused.

"Um yes," I said.

"Buffy, you are seriously dehydrated and you really need to watch it since your nursing. You need to eat things with more calories and you seriously need to take better care of yourself," he said. I felt like I had just been given a scolding.

"And you sir, you should have known better, this is the woman who is taken care of your child. You need to make sure she is taken care of," he said. I grinned as I saw Angels look. Ha ha he looked like he had just gotten a scolding too.

"I would like to keep her over night and if you could please bring the baby. We will bring in a basinet so he can have a place to stay," he said.

"What for?" Angel asked.

The Dr. looked at him confused. "Well to keep up her milk supply and to feed your son. Oh and if you want to stay the night you can. Just let the nurse know when you bring the baby back," he said before walking out.

Angel started for the door without even looking back at me.

"Angel," I cried out. He froze.

"Angel, you know I'm right about this. You know Lorne didn't lie. I know the PTB fucked this up. I know we cant be together and I know you have Darla but we have Conner. I love him Angel, I need him," I cried.

Angel walked out the door. I sighed, well that went well. I had no idea if he was coming back or not.

Part 17

I walked out of the room ignoring her cry. It took every ounce of will power I had. I wanted to run back in there and hold her and tell her I knew it was true.  I knew in my heart she was Conner's mom but I saw the delivery. I saw Conner being born. Buffy never delivered Conner. I wanted her to know that I wasn't sleeping with Darla and that I loved her but instead I marched into the lobby and told the others that she was staying overnight and asked if Will could take Darla home. I never waited for his reply before I left. It never entered my mind that all four of us came together in the same car.

This couldn't be right; Darla was Conner's mother. Wasn't she? She was the one who had given birth to him. Wasn't there some damn prophecy? At the same time I pictured a 16-year-old Buffy crying on my shoulder, telling me what the Master had said to her before he killed her the first time. Prophecy's were a tricky thing, isn't that what she had said to me? It wasn't that I didn't want Buffy for a mother; it was what I had dreamed about. Things between Buffy and myself were not great at the moment.

"Ha," I snorted. That was an understatement. I'm starting to think she hates me, and why is it everyone thinks I'm screwing Darla? Just because she's sleeping in my bed? It really was getting annoying. It was that one time. Ok, maybe I had slept with her more than once, but I didn't enjoy it. Not like I had enjoyed it with Buffy. Something I would never get to do again.

I wanted to know how this had happened, and why the PTB were fucking up our lives like this. Which is why I'm going to pay a little visit to Lorne, who is not going to be too happy to see me at this hour. I pulled up to Cartias and pounded on the door. I kept pounding till Lorne answered.

"Alright, Alright keep your panties on, I'm coming," he said.

"Lorne open up its me," I said.

"Who's me?" he asked.

"Lorne, its Angel," I growled.

"Well Angelcakes if your going to growl at me I'm not going to open up this door," Lorne told me.

I just let my head fall on the door. I give up. The door opened. Lorne helped me to a chair and I just sat there.

"Well, I'm getting the blues off you soul boy," he said.

"Lorne did you tell Buffy that Conner was her son?" I asked.

"You know the rules, you have to sing and I can tell you the mommy of the future stock holder of the Revlon Hair Gel Company." He quipped.

"Lorne, I have had a bad night," I snapped.

I noticed he wasn't going to give in." Can I at least just sing a few lines?" I begged.

"Please do, I don't think I could handle a whole song," he said.

"So sing away," he said holding his hands up to his ears. Honestly that doesn't help a guy. I thought real quick to the song I had heard on the radio before pulling up to the curb. I sighed, here goes nothing.

(Lyrics Knickleback You remind me)

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am

I stopped singing to look at him. If it was possible I think Lorne was greener than usual. There were times I actually wanted to hit the green demon. This was one of them.

"Excuse me Angel," he said and walked around the bar and poured a drink. Was my singing that bad?

"That bad Lorne, I mean I know my singing sucks but a double?" I asked

"Oh, it's not your singing, it's what I saw. I thought Buttercup was bad but you two I swear. You two are defiantly soul mates you both have this tragic doomed thing going on," he said pouring me a drink.

"What do you mean?" I asked I was really confused.

"Well one, Buffy is the mother. That should have been obvious from the beginning. You knew that and you just didn't want to see it. Darla was just the carrier. Buffy would have actually been the carrier if she hadn't plunged to her doom, but the powers up there didn't see that coming. And they call themselves the all knowing," he quipped.

I took the drink and gulped it down in one swig. This was just too much to think about.

"So what, when I slept with Darla I didn't get her pregnant?" I asked.

Lorne laughed," Um you do realize you're a vampire, totally dead right, you do shoot blanks" he asked.

I nodded.

"I'm afraid they placed the child in Darla after Buffy died. I'm guessing because you two swapped umm blood?" he asked.

Again I just nodded

"Another?" I asked holding out the shot glass.

"Anyway, Conner is to be a Warrior like his mother and you. He was actually conceived on the day you had turned back, but because you did that he was never born," he said softly.

That hit me hard. I could have had a child with Buffy. I could have been human many things would have been different.

"Yes, many things would have been different," Lorne said. I looked up to see he was watching me.

"So anyway this child had to be born so they placed him into Darla, because your blood had Buffy's blood. Of course the Powers new their mistake. They needed Buffy back because the baby was going to need her blood. The other Slayer wasn't going to work. Oh it would have sustained him for a while but in the end he would have gotten sick soon and well.. I'll leave it at that, he said sadly.

I just looked at the bottle it was starting to look real good at the moment.

"Anyway they sent the witch a way to bring the Slayer back. She thinks she did it herself. She's powerful enough, but not that powerful. They are not happy about how she did it like letting Buttercup dig herself out. That had to be traumatizing. By the way I'm upset you didn't bother to tell me she was in the hospital. I had to read it," he snapped.

"Sorry," I whispered. How many times in one night can I feel like a five year old?

"Of course I told Buttercup a few other things that she should tell you but that's up to her. She. well she took it rather badly and not to say that I blame her. They really are screwing with her life," he said pointing to the ceiling.

I just sat there and just drank from the bottle screw the shot glass. This was unbelievable. This was really something like from the Twilight Zone, first Darla comes in pregnant and with a soul, then Buffy comes back from the dead, then Faith breaks out of jail claiming she's ok then she runs to Sunnydale, then Buffy says she's coming back to nurse my child, then I find out Will has a soul, then I find out Lindsey is Buffy's half brother and now my beloved is the mother of my child what's next?

Oh dear God.. I just let my head fall on the bar counter.

"Now now Angel, I know it looks bad. Well ya its bad, and it's going to get worse from here because you and her are in for it. It's like a big soap opera and it's really good," he said

I shot him a look.

"Sorry," he said.

"Why don't you go home and try to get some rest and think about what's going on, and give Buttercup my love, tell her to come back and sing. Tell her to go on Friday if she can," he said before turning around to leave me.

I guess that was my cue to leave. I climbed into my car and headed to the Hyperion.
When I got there I noticed that even this late there was chaos. I followed the noise to the room with the T.V.

"What's going on now," I said tiredly.  I walked over and picked up my son who stopped screaming when I rocked him and whispered " Shhh it's ok."

"Well, I couldn't get him to feed. He just doesn't want my milk. Do you happen to know why?" Snapped Darla who had vamped out and her eyes were flashing yellow.

Ya cause its nasty I wanted to say, but for now I held my tongue. It was really late and Conner was starting to get fussy again.

"Angel I really think he's hungry," Will said. I looked at him, and I knew what he was thinking. He wanted his mother's milk and blood.

His mother's

It had just hit me. I looked down at Conner and for the first time I saw all the little resemblances of Buffy, the eyes the little nose and the lips.

"I'll take him to Buffy." I whispered.

"WHAT FOR?" Darla screeched.

"Because, he's hungry Darla and you can't seem to feed him," Will said. At this moment I was grateful for him. I handed Conner to Will and told him I would be back. I was back in less than five minutes. I had his diaper back packed.

"What the hell do you need all that for?" Darla asked.

"Because I'm taking him to the hospital," I said taking my son from Will. I wasn't about to tell her he was staying her overnight. I just couldn't deal with that now.

"Well I'm going with you. Like you said," Wherever I go, you go", so I'm going," she said with a smirk and she took her son. no it wasn't her son anymore.

"Whatever," I said and I took my son from her and looked back at Will as I walked out of the room and I saw him shake his head. I would just have to deal with her when we got there.

Part 18

I didn't let the tears fall for very long. I was too mad that he had just walked out. He had just left. Wasn't that just typical? The more I thought about, it the more mad I got. How dare he just leave? I just told him the most important thing ever, and he laughs and he walks away like its nothing.

I sat here fuming for a few minutes, which felt like hours

My fuming turned into nervousness was he coming back? Was he bringing Conner back? He wasn't going to let Darla feed Conner was he? No he wouldn't do that, would he? He knows that Conner is ours. He should know in his heart. However, my head was telling me something else.

I have to get out of here. I have to get to my son, the idea of Conner nursing from that, she devil whoring skanky ho soulless demon, made me sick.

"No way in hell," I muttered and I tried to get up. However, tried was the key word. I was so weak. I was nothing but a scarecrow.

"Shit, why the hell haven't I been eating?" I whispered.

Of course I knew the reason but I wasn't going to admit it. I didn't like to admit I was weak. I didn't want to admit that I needed help. I have been hanging on be a thread these days. The only thing that has been keeping me going is Conner. No one has paid me any attention hell even Will has left me. I only have Conner and now he's my son, but then I knew that from the beginning didn't I?

I also didn't like to admit that I had to stay in this bed even if everything inside me was raging to go get my son. I wanted to get up and beat the shit out of Darla and even if I didn't want to admit it, Angel. Well ya, I wanted to admit that. He's been acting strange the past few weeks maybe even months. I didn't have the strength to take Darla on right now. Damnit. I took her on a few weeks ago and she was strong when she was pregnant with Conner. I can only imagine now.

"No," I whispered. I had to get stronger then I would take Darla out. I know that Bitch doesn't have a soul, and if Angel is that blind to not see it then I would do what he couldn't. I would dust her with a smile on my face. Besides I never got a chance to pay her back for biting my mother. The Bitch will pay

My thoughts drifted back to Angel. My heart aches for him. I know he's torn up about this, but honestly I don't see why. He has what he has always wanted a child. I have just been granted something I never thought I would ever see, a child with Angel. I love him. I always have but he just walked out this room. Hasn't he always walked away from me? Especially when he can't handle the truth. Of course I can't say anything because I did the same thing tonight when Lorne told me about my Destiny. I knew in my heart about Conner and I knew I had come back more than just a super Slayer but to be.

"Angel, I don't want to be here," I heard a whinny voice interrupt my thoughts.
He didn't? Did he? He came back and brought Darla? A few seconds later I heard a knock on the door and I saw his head poke through the door. I saw he had Conner with him and my heart lightened, but I saw Darla right behind him my lip curled you in disgust.

"What the hell is she doing here? She's not wanted." I said.

"I go where my child goes, Blondie. Do us all a favor a give him the blood so we can leave and I can give him his proper milk like a good mommy should," Darla snapped.

That pissed me off and I smirked. I looked up at Angel and I stared at him and I knew he knew the truth. I saw it in his eyes but he was pleading with me and he shook his head and mouthed not now. I narrowed my eyes, I was furious. I got a mental picture of Darla trying to feed my child. The hell she was. She wasn't touching my child. There was no way in hell my child was ever going to touch her nasty dead milk again. I hope it hasn't done any damage so far. I'm going to have to take him to see a Dr. I didn't care if I had to get in a damn wheelchair and plow her down she wasn't touching Conner.

"Hmm, yes Angel, why don't you hand me Conner so I can feed him," I purred.

He simply handed me my son. I sighed when I had Conner in my arms. This is where he belonged. Conner cooed and giggled and I couldn't help but look at Angel and grin. He was staring at us with a slight smile on his face. He knew and I grinned. This was family. I didn't care if Darla was in the room she was about to find out and boy was she ever.

"Hello little man, mommy's here," I whispered.

"WHAT?" Darla screeched.

I paid no attention to her and I placed Conner under my shirt and he instantly nuzzled and my milk let down and my shirt was soaked with milk and I knew they could smell it.

"NOOOO, What the hell is going on? What did you do you stupid Slayer whore?" Darla yelled.

"Darla shut up. You said you wanted to come along and you will not call Buffy anymore names," Angel snapped.

I just grinned and Conner attached his fangs and started to suck for his blood and his milk. I was in heaven. I had my little boy. I sat in bed whispering to him and listening to him suck while he held on to my breast with one hand and held a lock of hair.

"No No No No No you stupid Bitch, you are not his mother. I am! Do you here me?" Darla yelled.

I didn't even bother to acknowledge, that she was there. In fact I didn't even bother to acknowledge that Angel was in the room however I knew he was because he had his eyes glued to us.

Suddenly, I felt Darla lunge at me. I felt her hands around my neck. " You are going to die once and for all. You stupid bitch, that's my child, you stole him from me. You wanted him, he's not yours, he's mine, and he's mine, Angel's mine. I'm going to kill you. They are mine. My dear boys," She yelled while choking me.

I couldn't breath and I was trying to protect Conner who had started to scream. I felt her being pulled off of me and I saw Angel in game face, as was Darla. He had her pushed to a corner. I saw nurse's rush in.

"Miss. Summer's are you ok? We heard screaming," they asked.

"I'm ok," I whispered.

"Get her out," I yelled to Angel.

I saw him barely glance at me as he dragged her out they had both changed back to normal but she glanced at me and I saw hatred that I had never seen before. I knew this was not over and, I held onto Conner for dear life.

"She will never get you Conner I promise," I whispered.

I sat on the bed rocking Conner who was still shaking.

"Sweet baby, I promise, its ok," I cooed to him. He finally calmed down enough for me to try to nurse him again but it still had bothered me that Darla had gone after me like that. She was really obsessed with Angel. Her dear Boys, does she really want Conner? I shuddered at the thought and held on to my son.

She would never get him

I grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her out of the hospital. I whispered to her to not make a scene or she would regret it. I dragged her to the alley outside the hospital and threw her against the wall.

"What the hell was the meaning behind attacking Buffy with Conner in her arms," I said in a low voice.

She just stared at me and started to walk away.

I grabbed her wrist and threw her again against the wall I heard her head hit with a crack but she acted like it didn't affect her.

Instead she got up and started to walk away. I was almost to my breaking point and my demon was raging. Angelus was whispering, "She's your sire, She likes violence, more more more more more, stupid Slayer bitch. Take Darla, not the Slayer. Stay with Darla," I shook it off. The more Darla was around the more Angelus came out.

"Darla, there are things that are happening the past day or well night that I just found out. Buffy didn't know either," I said.

She made no noise but started to walk away, I grabbed her and held her so she was facing me. I saw nothing but coldness in her eyes.

"Conner is Buffy's son by blood, but you carried him, Darla," I said trying to make her feel good. Still nothing.

"Darla?" I said.

"Go to hell Angel," she said acting like she was about to cry.

I narrowed my eyes.

"Been there," I muttered.

She turned to look at me. "Yes, you have and by her. You were sent to hell by her and why, because you were a demon. She can't love a demon. She can't love someone like us. Let her have Conner then, if apparently he's not our son. Are you sure he's your son? I mean hell, actually you're dead so are you positive he's actually your son?" she yelled.

I flinched, some of her words had hit home. I had always wondered those were my doubts.

"Yes," I whispered.

"How, how do you know?" she yelled.

"Because I was human for a day," I told her.

That made her stop walking and look at me. She started laughing. "Let me guess, you gave it up for her and I was just some damn carrier," she said.

I didn't say anything but she knew. This was not good, not good at all. Not with her seeing Dru.

"Whatever, I'll be moving out so you and Buff can pretend to have a normal life for awhile," she sneered.

No, no this was not good.

"No, No you need to stay," I said.

Shit Buffy was not going to like this.

Darla grinned.

I frowned and I walked her to the car. I didn't trust her to go by herself. Things were going to be very rough, and things with Buffy.I closed my eyes. Well, things with Buffy were about to get rougher.

I pulled up to the Hotel and I let Darla walk in by herself and I heard my cell phone ring.
Who the hell would call this late at night? I wasn't going to answer then I thought about Cordy. Maybe she was having a vision.

I took it out of my pocket and looked at the number it wasn't one I recognized but I answered it anyway.

"Hello," I said hesitantly.

"A.. Angel," A voice said stuttering.

"Willow?" I asked. Now what did she want this early in the morning, things just couldn't get worse could they?

Part 19
I nursed Conner and I rocked him to sleep in my arms and, not once did I think about placing him in the bassinet that the nurses had brought in for him to sleep in. The idea of Darla coming back in to get him was too much for me to bare. He never left my side and I refused to sleep. So much for getting my strength back, but as I watched the clock and two hours after Darla and Angel left I realized they were not coming back I couldnt help myself I slowly drifted off to sleep.

I suddenly woke up when I felt Conner being taken from my arms.

"Isn't this just the sweetest thing? I am so glad youre his mother and not that that.bitchyshe devil," Fred said.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes and blinked.

"Fred?" I asked. I was slightly confused.

"Oh, Good morning Buffy, we didnt want to wake you, but the Dr. said you could go home," Giles said walking in behind Fred.

"Oh." I whispered. I was slightly disappointed that Angel wasnt here but then again I guess it was daylight.

"Oh Angel would have come and Will too but ya know, Daylight," Fred said pointing to the window. I just nodded. Sometimes it's so weird, she's like me a lot, sometimes, shes so bubbly and she always seems to know what I'm thinking it's scary. She reminds me of me and Willow put together.

"Besides, he needed his sleep with Darla still being around and all," she said.

"What?" I asked looking up startled.

She looked at Giles then back to me. "Nothing, I um need to go get the car," she said. She quickly handed Conner back to me.

"What about Darla?" I asked him.

He sighed," Buffy, I guess I should tell you before we get there but, Angel has decided that Darla is going to be staying at the Hyperion for a while. He has gone against everyone's wishes and well she's still around."

"Oh," I whispered.

"Buffy, I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Oh no, its ok. I mean if he wants to keep a soulless demon around then let him. She won't get her hands on my child, thats for sure. So how does it feel to be a grandfather?" I said trying to loosen the mood.

"I love you too Buffy." He whispered and gave me a kiss on my forehead.
I smiled as he picked Conner up and held him. I heard him mutter something like I love you too Conner even if you are half Angels. I grinned.

"Giles dont worry about Darla and Angel. Things are going to change around that hotel. The slayer is back, I muttered. I glanced at him and I saw the slight shudder that went through him.

He gave Conner to me and went to the door so I could have some privacy to get dressed.

When I get my hands on Darla, she will regret the day she ever met me. I want to know what Angel is thinking. She attacked Conner and I, and he's letting her stick around and I want to know why. I know Angel isnt stupid, but this is ridiculous. Angel has been acting out of character for quite awhile now. Between being an ass, and, a dork, I'm starting to believe that a pod person took over his body. Hell, even Angelus would be better at this moment. Ya know maybe just maybe this is all fictional, and some screenwriter has had way too much caffeine and is trying to ruin my soulful cuddly Angel. However, my thoughts were cut off by Conner screaming.

"I dont blame you little one. You think your daddy has lost a few screws too huh?" I asked him as I placed him in the bassinet.

Thankfully Giles had had not heard what I had said. I really didnt want to get into this with him. It would mean getting into it with all of them. Giles, Wesley, Cordelia, Gunn and, Fred aggghh everyone. It just gets freaking annoying sometime.

I pulled on my shirt and I realized today was Friday.

"Oh God, Conner," I moaned. I hurried my pace and grabbed everything and opened the door. Giles almost fell to the floor.

"Oops sorry Giles, but we are in a hurry, I have somewhere I have to be and then I really have to get to Sunnydale later this afternoon. So first stop Hyperion so I can change," I said really fast and I didnt care that I wasnt telling him anything. It wasnt his business and he wasnt asking he was just nodding.

First thing first actually, take care of Darla. Technically that was the first thing I had to do but I was on a time limit. Damnit I had less than an hour to make it to that damn audition and nothing was going to stop me. Not even that skanky ho. This was the only thing I had wanted to do in forever that was almost normal and she was not going to stop me.

Less than 10 minutes we pulled up at the Hyperion. I kept asking if Giles could drive faster and, Fred kept babbling away about Cordy and Groo. Honestly, I couldnt care what they were doing as long as it didnt affect today.

"Fred can you take Conner inside?" I asked and hopped out of the car before she had answered and the car had stopped. I opened the door and flooded the hotel with light.

"Hey Buffy," Will said.

"Uh huh," I said running up the stairs. I ran to the room and got dressed. I chose an emerald green dress and decided to leave my hair down but pulled the sides up in a couple of small clips.

"Not bad," I whispered and I slipped on a pair of pumps.  I feel like I'm running around with my head cut off. My mind was screaming, makeup little bit of this a little bit of that. Some perfume would be nice since I still havent have shower. I ran down the stairs and I saw Conner I placed a small kiss on his cheek. I really didnt want to leave him. I needed to go to this audition. I didnt see Darla anywhere. I turned to look at Will.

"Where is Darla?" I asked. I saw him flinch.

"You sure you want to know?" he asked.

"I wouldnt have asked," I told him. Although truth be known I didnt want to know but by the look in his eyes he didnt even have to answer.

He pointed upstairs. I narrowed my eyes and I walked back up the stairs. I walked towards Angel's room and I stopped in front of the door. I opened it a crack and I heard whispering.

"She doesnt love you Angel. She can never love you. Who can love demons like us? We will be immortal forever Angel, let her have Conner. All we have is each other. You let her have my son. You made up this dumb story about the powers making her the mother. That was our son we created together. I dont care what you said, we made love that night it wasnt the Slayer it was you and I. You wanted me. You said you wanted to make the cold go away. That child is mine, I plan on being around he's my boy," I heard her hiss.
My heart lurched.

"Let me tell you something Darla. I dont love you. I never loved you. Yes, I wanted you that night, but you were nothing more than a whore like you always were. I have always loved Buffy from the moment I saw her. I will not always be immortal. There is a prophecy that I will turn human soon," I heard him say.

Oh god, oh god my mind was spinning I felt like throwing up.

"Soon I will be able to give her everything and Conner and Buffy and myself will be able to live as a normal family. I love her and not you. I will be able to prove it one day. She's the other half of my soul." He said.

I heard Darla laughing. "Oh thats rich, that is the most pathetic thing in the world. You have killed more people than you can count and you get to turn human. What God would ever turn you human? You were given a curse because you killed a human, you pissed someone off and now you get to be human. So have you told Blondie yet? Have you told the Slayer about your love for her? I doubt it knowing you. Oh this should be fun I think I should stick around for this." I heard her say. I backed away from the door.

No no no no, how can this be. What cruel joke was this? How can Angel get to turn human when die when I was made Immortal?

I ran down the stairs past everyone. I can only remember yelling to Will to watch Conner. I hopped in the Jeep and took off. My mind was blank. I remember Lorne telling me the spell that Willow had used caused me to be Immortal, it wasnt her fault he said it was the PTB. They had sent her the spell. They made me Immortal and the same people were making Angel human.

I made sure the tears didnt come down and I pulled into the parking lot. I was going to do this audition it killed me.

I filled out the paperwork and sat down and waited till my name was called. Angels words kept popping up. I can't tell them, I just cant.

"Buffy Summers," A lady in red called. I stood up and I walked on the stage. I told them I was going to do a piece from the movie. Why the hell not, I was in that sort of mood anyway. It wasnt like I didnt know all the words anyway. I told the piano player what I was going to sing and I just let the words flow. I started to think of Angel and of the night. I live in the night, and I'm starting to hate it. Even thought now it's my Destiny, my life from now on. I will permanently live in the night as the Slayer. I wonder if the line will still travel through Faith? I'm sure it will. I wonder if I even have to be a Slayer anymore. Can I become a normal person? Can I become a different person? I thought about all these things as I sang. I knew I had tears coming down my face as I was singing and I sung my heart out.

When I was done there was complete silence.

"Thank you Miss Summer's some one will be in contact to let you know if you get the part," someone said from out in the audience with no emotion in their voice. I just shrugged and walked away and slowly got in the jeep.

I drove back to the Hyperion and walked in. I saw Angel sitting by the counter with Conner. He looked up as I entered and gave me a smile. It used to be one that would make me melt. In fact it did but I remembered earlier and I was extremely sad and I knew I could never bring it up. I knew why he had left me in the first place. I tried to smile.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," I said back. We just stayed that way. I watched him with Conner for a while and neither of us said a word. That was till Darla came gliding down the stairs.

"Well now if it isnt the happy couple," she sneered.

"Darla, dont." Angel pleaded. I wondered why he was actually pleading with her. I saw Fred and Will walk in the room. The commotion was bringing everyone in. I guess they couldnt pass up a good fight either.

"You just can't resist can you?" I asked her.

"What do you mean?" she said confused.

"You just have to open you mouth constantly its like you want to hear your voice," I snapped.

"Oh please, youre the one taking everything I ever had," she hissed.

"I dont think you ever had Angel, and as for Conner it wasnt my fault they made you the carrier. It wasnt my fault Angel turned back the day. Everyone here knows my choice on that day. So dont go blaming me," I snapped.

"Whatever, its always your fault Slayer. You will get what's coming to you.
Did your precious Angel tell you he's going to become human," she grinned.
I didnt say anything I didnt even look at Angel. I heard a few groans and I saw Wills eyes bulge out. I also saw Angel glance at me like he thought I would be shocked. Ha, got news for him I wasnt. Already heard it once today.

"First of all he's not my precious anything and if he becomes human good for him. Its what he deserves, he's the one doing good around here. He has a soul unlike you," I said walking towards her. I grabbed her by the arm. I knew the sun was going down but there was still some daylight outside. I wasnt that weak. She was going to pay.

"Darla, from now on you are not to stay out of this hotel," I snapped.

"Get your hands off me, and you cant tell me what to do. Besides, Angel told me I was to stay here. I still have a dresser in his room unlike you," she said happily.
I couldnt help myself I had to glance at him. He eyes were pleading with me.

"Oh you have to be kidding me?" I asked.

"Screw this," I snapped.

She wasnt prepared when I slapped her across the face and my hands tightened on her arms and I dragged her to the door.

"Have fun Darla," I said. I tossed her ass outside. The sun was going down but she was still getting a nice sunburn.

"NOOO," she screamed. "Angggeeellll," she was yelling. I just couldnt help myself the satisfaction was wonderful. These are the moments you wish you had a video camera, she was hopping around and trying to get back in but I sure as hell wasnt letting her. I was blocking the entrance.

The next thing I know, I was picked up and moved aside. I looked up and met Angel's gaze. He let her back in. What the hell? I was so furious I grabbed Conner's bag and picked him up and walked towards the door.

"If anyone is curious, I'm going to the Hell mouth." I said. I can honestly say it's somewhat predictable.

"You are not taking Conner there, Buffy." Angel said helping Darla to the couch. She was giving me eat shit glares. Screw her. I hope it hurt like hell. Too bad it wasnt bright enough to light  her up like a firework. I wanted her to be dust.

"I'm going to see Willow, We will be back tonight or tomorrow. Honestly I dont want my child here if she's going to be here. She's a bad influence on anyone she's around" I said meeting Angels gaze before heading towards the door. However I saw Angel get very nervous.

"Why are you going to see her?" he asked.

"Because, I need to talk to her, and its none of your business," I said.

"She needs to die," I whispered to Conner looking for my keys.

"She can't die Buffy," Angel yelled.

Huh, that got my attention. This was more emotion I had seen in awhile.

"And why not?" I snapped.

"I can't tell you," he said looking around the room but his attention stopped on Will. Hmm that really got my attention. Hello, can we say Curiosity killed the Cat?

"I want her gone when I get back," I said.

"No Buffy she stays," he said.

"Fine then Conner and I stay in Sunnydale," I said. I didnt want her around Conner. I didnt trust her. There was something wrong with this picture.

"Buffy listen to me, he's my son too. She's staying here, she has too I have to keep an eye on her," he said.

"Why you tell me why?" I was practically yelling. Everyone was paying attention almost like a ping-pong game, back and forth between us.

"Because she's seeing Druscilla," he yelled.

"Who's Druscilla?" she asked

"Dear Lord," I heard both Wesley and Giles say Screw this, I am leaving. You do what you need to do but honestly I suggest chaining her up or dusting her ass. I will be back. For some reason you seem to think she has a soul. What do I have to do to get it through your head Angel?" I asked. He just looked away. I saw Darla smirk and I sighed and I picked up the baby carrier.

"When I get back there will be some changes. Dont worry Will. I will take care of Dru. You take care of Fred. Darla's going to be dust so if I were you I would leave Darla and Angel you need to get your priorities straight," I said softly. I knew they heard me. They are vampires after all.

I climbed back in the Jeep and drove off and I realized I had forgotten again to mention Holtz. I wanted to know who he was and what he wanted with Angelus.
Now Dru was around and Darla was seeing her. That would mean trouble for all of us especially for Angel and Will. I know Dru is going to want her Spiky back.

I glanced at Conner through the review mirror. For a minute I was startled. It occurred to me he should have never been born. If anyone got wind of that a Slayer and Master Vampire gave birth Conner would be on every hit list. As it was why isnt he now? He was born of two vampires. You would think that demons everywhere would want him. Is that what Holtz wants? Thats another reason for Darla to die. I pushed that thought aside and turned the radio on and headed towards Sunnydale. No one knew I was coming. I suppose this was the perfect time to start those changes I had promised myself.

I stood at the door, hesitating. I really didnt want to do this. I hated the idea of coming for help especially from this ass but she needed it. I had tried everything except of course evection that was just low and plain dumb. Hell I even had the bitch of a seer tell me to get my ass into gear to kill Billy.

"Just get it over Lilah, remember you want to be a partner," I muttered.

I knocked on the door to the apartment. The door swung open to revel a very handsome man who wasnt shocked at all to see me.

"What do you want Lilah?" he asked grinning.

"Hello, Lindsey, how is the New York branch?" I asked.

"I would invite you in but I have company," he said. He shoved the door open a little wider so that I could see an older man that I immediately recognized as Holtz.

My eyes grew wide. "You have Holtz in there?" I whispered

He grinned," Go away Lilah and go play with the eviction notices," he said.

I frowned," How do you know about that crap," I asked.

"I have my sources," he said slightly frowning.

Thats when I grinned. Of course it him me. There had been a rumor that he was the half brother of the Slayer and he was here now on "Vacation".

"So you are on vacation are you Lindsey? A vacation with Holtz who came from 1800 or something like that. I guess I need to do some more research. Maybe I should go talk to Buffy? Or you could let me help you." I said

He stared at me for a few minutes and he opened the door wider.

"I actually missed you, Lilah. I missed your Bitchy mouth," he whispered before shutting the door.