Title: Guilt
Author: Beth
Rating: PG
Summary: This story is written about a challenge that Jennie sent out to the list a long time ago. If I posted the challenge it would give it all away so all I will tell yah is that Dawn is dealing with Buffy's gift.
Spoilers: The Gift
Disclaimer: Would you like me to answer that, or shall I just glare? But really everything in this fic is owned by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Feedback: I would LOOOOOOVE some email at french16@zoominternet.net
Distribution: Want, Take, Have but don't forget to say please.
Notes: Well I am so sick and tired of this crap that is 15 year old Dawn. Yes I understand that she lost her sister but normal 15 year olds do NOT act like the way she does!!! And in this story I am going to show that. Sorry for that little rant.
.Notes2: Yes I am very sorry that I never got around to finishing Livin La Vida Loca and The Fifth Slayer I have just been really busy so I haven't had time but I swear I will finish them this idea just sounded so good I had to write this first. And I promise I will finish it.
"Live for me, Dawn whispers" underneath her breath as she sits down on her bed.
"Why did she kill herself? No one needs me but they need a Slayer." Dawn shakes the thoughts from her head as she makes her way toward the stairs. She stops at the top of the stairs when she hears the Scooby Gang talking in the living room.
"Why did she have to go?" Willow asks no one in particular.
"To save the world." Giles answers.
"To save the world? Was it as simple as that? I mean sure she is the Chosen One but did she have to jump. We we.." Xander begins.
"We need her." Willow finishes for Xander.
"Well, what the bloody well expect her to do? Let Dawn jump instead. I'm sure that would have been better. We would've saved the world, kept the Slayer, and only had to sacrifice one innocent." Spike adds with a sarcastic tone. But Dawn does not take it the way as he intended and her tears fall faster as she makes her way into her room and flops on her bed.
"Spike how could you say that stuff?" Willow asks on the brink of tears.
"I didnt mean it Red, I just meant that Buffy did what she thought was righta nd now we have to deal with the consequences."
***
Tears pour down Dawns face as she cried into her pillow.
"I knew that they blamed me. Thought it was just me imagining it. I was just imagining their eyes glaring at me behind my back, only to be covered by a fake smile when I turn around. But no, what Spike said was true. I killed my sister. She died for my stupid mistakes. Why did I even have to be created? Why did she have to love me so much?"
Dawn gets up off of her bed and reaches under it pilling out a traveling duffel bag. Dawn goes over to her drawer and pulls out some old clothes and starts to put them in her bag.
"I know what I have to do now. I have to get away from their accusing glares from the sadness."
Dawn puts the finishing touches on her stuff and starts to climb out of her window but decides to go into Buffys room first. It was so her. Every piece of furniture, the smelleverything. Dawn runs her hand over Buffys shelf until she found what she was looking for Mr. Gordo, Buffys stuffed pig. Buffy took it everywhere. When her parents were fighting Dawn remembered how Buffy use to huddle in her room holding the pig. And when they first moved here and Buffy couldnt find him, how much she freaked out. No, those were just memories the monks put in her head, but Dawn didnt care. Mr. Gordo will keep her linked to Buffy somehow as she makes the trip to her new home, L.A.
Part 2
Dawn runs into the phone booth quickly closing the door so the pouring rain doesnt come in. She reaches in the compartment under the phone and pulls out the phone book, her last idea. The address that Hank Summers had given to his family had been a dud just an address for any empty warehouse. So Dawn flipped to the S Section of the phone book. She skimmed her finger down the page. Schwarts. Smith. Stinit. SUMMERS! Dawn looks at all the numbers, no Hanks not even an H. Dawn exhales a loud sigh but she has been through too much and she starts sobbing. She had snuck out of the house easily and used most of her money to buy a bus ticket to L.A. The 2-hour ride had been horrible! Too much time to think. Too much time for Dawn too blame herself. Then as soon as she had gotten off the bus it had started raining as if the fates were against her. Then the address had been wrong, she couldn't find her dad in the phone book so she had no where to stay and now she was hungry. Something pulled at Dawn's subconscious and she stopped crying and looked to her left.
//Maybe I can buy something to eat there//
Dawn opened up the door to the phone booth and made a mad dash to the club. She walked down the steps and saw the bright interior that was the club. A big green demon with horns tapped Dawn on the shoulder. Dawn jumps back and away from the demon.
"W-who are you?" Dawn questions the fear causing her voice to tremble.
"The name's Lorne, owner of this club. Welcome to Caritas. Can I get you something sweetie?" Dawn digs though her pocket and counts all the money.
"What can I buy for $5.35?"
"Not much I'm sorry." Dawn looks down in defeat.
"You know what sweet cheeks. Mr. McDonald up there needs someone to sing while he plays his guitar. How about you take the job and after your done I can give you some food on the house." Dawn's head shoots up as her eyes glow with thanks.
"Really?" Lorne shakes his head yes and leads Dawn up on stage. Lorne explains the situation to Lindsey who agrees and shows Dawn how to read the lyrics as he plays. Lindsey starts to play as Dawns beautiful voice spreads melodically throughout the club. As Dawn finishes everyone in the club gives her a standing ovation. Lorne brushes the tears away from his eyes as he sets Dawns meal on the table. After Dawn literally takes her bows she sits down in front of the meal. Dawn lifts her head to look Lorne in the eye.
"Thank you so much." Lorne pats her on the back.
"Trust me sweetie it is my pleasure. I have to go make a call. I'll be back to check on you afterwards." Dawn just nods her head and starts to eat the food, savoring every taste fearing this might be the last one she might have in awhile. Lorne goes behind the bar and reaches for the phone, dialing a familiar number.
"Cordelia, how are you darling oh I see well I have some business for you no see I need all of you here.yes I know he is mourning for Buffy but he really needs to come down here. Well thanks Cordy." Lorne hangs up the phone and looks over at Dawn. Poor kid.
"Cordelia, I dont know why I had to come", Angel states.
"Because Lorne said you needed to and because you need to get out. Look at those dark circles under your eyes and how pale well you know what I mean", Cordy answers.
"I'm sure you, Wes and Gunn could have worked it out", Angel says following everyone down the stairs into Caritas.
"Dude, check out the girl on stage with" Gunn comments.
"LINDSEY!" Cordy finishes.
"Yeah I was just about to say that. Are you reading my thoughts or something girl cause if so my advice would be to get out of there quick! "
Angel seems to focus on the girl stage." I know that girl,"
"You bet you do Angel cakes. That would be the love of your lifes sister, Lorne declares."
"Dawn", Angel whispers.
"Who?" Cordy questions.
"Buffys younger sister",
"I didn't know Buffy had a younger sister", Wesley remarks.
"She doesnt I mean its a long story", Angel says as he walks towards the stage.
"Angel", Lindsey nods acknowledging his presence.
"Lindsey", Angel responds. Dawn looks towards Angel and gets wide-eyed.
"ANGEL!!!" Dawn yells as she gives Angel a big hug. Angel hugs her back, remembering all the things Willow had told him about Glory and the monks.
"Why are you here Dawn? Why arent you back in Sunnydale?"
"Dont you know? Buffys dead",
"Yes, I know. But you should still be back with Willow and Xander they must be missing you,"
"No, they're not. They think its my fault Buffy is dead,"
"No, Dawn they would never think that,"
"But its true. I killed my sister!!" Dawn yells suddenly bursting into uncontrollable sobs. Her knees buckle but Angel catches her and carries her out of the club.
"Grab her stuff," Angel orders. Gunn grabs Dawns stuff as Wesley jogs in front of Angel to start the car. All the while Angel is trying to soothe Dawn by smoothing her hair, rubbing her back and repeating it wasnt you fault, it wasnt your fault.
***
Dawn had fallen asleep in the car on the way back to the hotel. Angel had set her in one of the many bedrooms and that is where Dawn awoke. Dawn sits up in the bed and looks around at the unfamiliar surroundings.
"Where am I?"
"Your at Angel Investigations. How are you Dawn??" Cordy answers.
"I'm better,"
"Yeah I always feel better after a good cry. Would you like to come downstairs?" Dawn nods her head yes and takes Cordys hand following her downstairs. Halfway down Dawn hears someone shout her name. When Dawn looks around she see's its Willow and Xander. Dawn lets go of Cordys hand as Willow and Xander grab her into a big hug.
"Do you know how frightened we were Dawn?" Willow questions.
"Yeah. We were afraid some big bad had gotten you again", Xander jokes trying to always make the best out a situation.
"Dawn why did you do it? Why did you run away?" Willow asks afraid to hear the answer.
"I heard you guys talking and I know that you blame me for Buffys death,"
"Oh Dawn we would never. No one blames you", Willow assures her positive that Spike is going to get it when they get home.
"Come on. We can discuss this more at home", Xander says ,as he grabs Dawns stuff and heads toward the car. Willow starts to follow Xander but, turns toward Angel first.
"Thank you so much Angel. We had no idea where she was. You're a lifesaver", Willow hugs Angel and turns around to see Dawn still standing in the same place. "Come on Dawnie,"
"No", Dawn whispers.
"What?"
"NO!" Dawn yells loud enough for it to echo off the walls. "No, I dont want to go back to Sunnyhell. I dont want to go back to that house!"
"But Dawn"
N"O! Im not going. I dont care what you say Im not going back there",
"Dawn you cant just go wandering the streets,"
"I could stay here, if its ok with Angel of course. I just cant go back there not yet. Please Willow,"
"If its all right with Angel, its fine with me," Willow sighs.
"Angel?"
"Its not a permanent deal but yes you may stay here,"
"Yeah!" Dawn shouts, totally changing her mood in a matter of seconds.
"We will send the rest of your stuff later. Well miss you Dawnie," Willow says as she hugs Dawn." Bye." Willow walks out the door. Seconds later Xander walks in with Dawn's stuff and sets it on the floor and hugs Dawn too.
"Your in good hands with Dead Boy and Queen C", Xander assures Dawn as he walks out the door and he and Willow drive off.
"Well what now?" Dawn asks Angel.
"Now, we set rules,"
"Rules?"
4 days later
"Bloody hell, Peaches!!" a familiar voice sounds from the entrance.
"Spike?" Angel looks over and sees his grandchild standing at the Hyperion doorway with 2 suitcases.
"You think you could've gotten anything bigger?" Spike responds.
"Are you intending on staying awhile?"
"Nope, I was sent by Red to bring Little Bits stuff,"
"Oh, well let me get her", Angel turns towards the stairs and shouts, "Dawn your clothes are here!!!"
"Good. A girl can only wear the same outfit for so long", Dawn states, as she walks out into the lounge. "Spike!!!" Dawns yells as she rushes up and gives Spike a huge hug as Spike hugs her back. Angel and Cordy, who has just arrived to see the scene, look at each other exchanging confused glances.
"So, they treating yah good Nibblet?" Spike asks.
"Well, may you believe it or no, Angel is actually a good cook",
"Hey! What do mean believe it or not?" Angel questions in defense.
"Well, Peaches you dont really come off as the cooking type",
"He even wears one of those Kiss The Cook aprons", Cordy chuckles.
"Now that I could imagine", Spike laughs.
"Shut up, William",
"I'm going to take my stuff into my room",
"I'll help you unpack", Cordy offers. Dawn and Cordy head up into Dawns new room/
"I swore to the Little Bits sis that I would take care of her, Angel. You better watch over that girl. Shes been through a lot ,losing her sis and all. Im trusting you",
"Thanks William, I promise I will", Angel slaps his grandchilde on the back, making him stumble slightly. Spike smiles, hitting Angel right back in a display of his manliness and walks back out to his car.
***
"So, Dawn, how you holding up?" Cordy asks as she takes some of Dawns clothes out of a suitcase.
"I'm doing better, its just so much to deal with. You know?"
"Yeah, but trust me Angel is the best when it comes to this kind of stuff",
"Really?"
"Uh huh,. He has his way of dealing which you are not allowed to take after. No brooding for Dawn",
"Ok",
"But really, Dawn, I know its probably hard for you with your mom dying, the Apocalypse and then Buffy. I know you must be torn up inside, I just want to tell you that its ok to cry. Even Angel does,"
"But he seems so strong",
"Oh he is, but even the strong need to cry,"
"When did he cry?"
"When Willow came to tell us that Buffy had died. He just broke down right there in front of us. He kinds of freaked us all out to tell you the truth", Cordy and Dawn both have a good laugh before Angel's voice sounds form the doorway of the room.
"What are you two talking about?"
"Nothing. Just girl talk. I have to go downstairs to do some work. I'll talk to you later. Ok Dawn? "Cordy questions.
"Ok". Cordy walks out, giving Angel a smile on the way out. Angel walks into Dawns room and sits down on the bed." I really like Cordy. Shes' changed so much since they all graduated from high school. I remember this one time after we first moved here, Buffy told me that Cordy was one of the first people she met here and she gave her like the cool test or something. To me, they were ridiculous questions but then again I was only 10 years old at the time. Then she started telling me about this guy she ran into in an alley," Dawn babbles.
"Yeah, I really made a great impression," Angel laughs.
"Oh ,I dont know. She sure did think wonders of you." Angel looks down at Dawns bed and see Mr. Gordo and picks him up.
"Well hello Mr. Gordo. So we meet again",
"You know Mr. Gordo?"
"Oh yeah, he and I go way back,"
"I miss her, Angel,"
"I do too, Dawn," Angel declares as he puts Mr. Gordo back down and Dawn climbs onto his lap.
"She wasn't the best sister in the world, I mean we were always fighting, but I still loved her. I dont think I ever told her that,"
"She knew, Dawn. She knew, " Dawn for what seems like the thousandth time, starts to cry.
"When Mom died she was all I had left. And now I have no one. She left me here by myself!!!"
"But youre not. You have Willow, Xander and even, well Spike, but most importantly you have me. She would have fought until the end of time if she thought it would have helped,"
"She wasnt really my sister. Why did she risk her life for someone she didnt really know?"
"Dawn she did know you. You were part of her and she opened her heart and let you in and she loved you,"
"Thats what she told me," Dawn says her tears slowing down.
A"nd she was right", Angel wipes away the rest of Dawns tears.
"Come on. Lets finish unpacking,."
Chapter 4
"Dawn time for you lesson!" Angel yells up the stairs.
"But Im watching something!!!" Dawn shouts back.
Dawn, Angel walks into dawns rooms and sees Dawn staring at the TV she begged him to get. When she did it, she reminded him so much of Buffy how could he refuse? "You were the one who said that you got bored when we went on cases. And the only way you can go is by learning to fight. And Im sure whatever you are watching isnt that important."
"But Jerry Springer is! It shows me what I should do if I ever fall in love with my lesbian mother.,"
Angel raises his eyebrow in question. "Did Tara and Willow DO something to you?? I mean you dont like have a crush on one of them do you?"
"Well I must say that Tara really has sorta grown on me and she is kinda pretty but I must say if I as gonna go for anybody it would have to be Cordy. You never would get bored with her,"
Angel stares at Dawn with a shocked look on his face. Dawn laughs and gets up and shuts off the TV and runs downstairs. Angel slowly follows her down into the training room. Dawn has a staff in her hand and Gunn is showing her how to do a sweep motion with it so that she could trip an opponent in a fight. Angel cant help but notice again how much she looks like her sister. Angel is coping more and more but he knows a piece of him will always belong to Buffy, mind, body and most importantly his soul.
"Angel! Visitor!" Cordy yells down into the basement training room. Angel turns around and walks out into the lounge to see a dark brunette talking with Cordy.
"Faith, its really good to see you. Out on parole?" Faith turns around to face Angel and puts her hands on her hips.
"Well you would have known that if you came to visit in the last month,"
"Well a lot has happened,"
"I bet. Did the crew here make you sing?"
"God no! We would never torture ourselves like that", Cordy concludes as she shudders at the thought of her boss murdering another song on stage.
"You know Cordy I do know other ways of torture", Angel says taking a step forward. Cordy backs away and puts her hands up to defend herself.
"Oh no you dont I'm your connection to the Powers That B.." Cordy suddenly drops to the ground in pain holding her head. Angel rushes over.
"Whats the matter with her?" Faith questions.
"Shes having a vision, can you hand me her purse and some water?" Faith grabs Cordys purse and hands it to Angel. Angel reaches inside and grabs a bottle of Aspirin.
"Wow! Head rush I bet. You ok Cordelia?" Faith asks.
N"ever better," Cordy sarcastically states as she takes the pills with the water Angel gives her.
"What did you see Cordy?" Angel asks. A sly smile starts to spread across Cordys face. "Cordy? What is it?"
"Good news." Cordy states as she sits up.
"Good news? From the Powers That BE? I dont think so. They never do anything good,"
"Well I can leave if you want then if you think Im no good, a voice says from the doorway." Angel knows that voice anywhere. He rushes over with vampiric speed and scoops the person in a soul-stealing kiss (well not literally of course). When Angel finally sets the person back down they walk hand and hand over to the counter.
"Glad to see your back B. World couldnt be the same without you", Faith comments.
"Yeah Buffy how many Apocalypses is that? 6?" Cordy asks.
"Give or take a few," Buffy shrugs. Angel firmly has his arms wrapped around Buffys waist promising to never let her go, again.
"How?" Angel questions kissing her gentlely.
"The Powers That Be sent me. Something about the balance being disturbed, blah, blah, blah. I really wasnt listening", Angel looks adoringly into her eyes and kisses her passionately Buffy growing more and more fiery with each second.
"Man what a workout. I feel all fit and stuff. I can now defend myself. Demons here I come." Dawn begins until she sees Angel and Buffy kissing. Ok so really she saw Buffy hence her tumbling Buffy over as she jumps on her, "Buffy!"
"Hey Dawnie. You really have grown."
"Oh Buffy I missed you so much. Why did you have to die?" Dawn asks as she hugs her sister tightly, tears starting to make their way down her face.
"It doesn't matter Dawnie. I'm here now. And now I would like to get off the floor",
"Oh right, Dawn stands off of Buffy and helps her to her feet. So..what now?"
Chapter 5
"Wow, Angel this all looks great, Buffy says as she looks at all the food on the table. This is enough to feed even Xander for a decade."
"No one can make that much food". Cordy laughs. Everyone sits down at the table and starts to dig in. Cordy being the nice hostess that she is she decides that she should start a conversation. "So Buffy, Spike came to visit, he seems to be doing well,"
"Yeah the bleached out bloodsucker is pretty helpful when he wants to be." Buffy comments as she smiles. But not from the comment but from Angel's feet tangling with hers from across the table.
"Yeah only cause hes in love with you," Dawn accidentally mumbles, regretting it as soon as she said it.
"WHAT!!!" Angel yells as he abruptly stands up in outrage pushing Buffy on the ground from the impact of his feet pushing away.
"Oh my God!! Buffy are you ok?" Cordy questions as she looks at Buffy. After the dazed look on Buffys face has cleared she starts laughing hysterically.
"I think B. has finally cracked", Faith remarks as Buffy lifts her chair and sits back down all while laughing.
"Buffy dear, are you all right?" Angel asks while grabbing her hand in his.
"Y-yes," Buffy stutters as she slows her laughing and wipes away the tear from the corner of her eye. "Its just, its just I was just remembering something. Do you remember when Spike sent the Order of Taraka?"
"Yeah and what does that have to do with you laughing?"
"Remember the bug dude?"
"Yuck I try not to. All those worms," Cordy answers.
"Well for some odd reason I got this weird image in my head of a huge worm and Spike dancing,". Everyone just looks at her strangely and then one by one they all start laughing, even Angel.
"Spike always did have a weird choice in women," Angel laughs.
"Hey! Excuse me. I am not weird," Buffy justifies as she stands up and moves closer to Angel with her hands on her hips.
"Awww Im sorry baby your not weird", Angel says as he sweeps her into his lap. "Odd maybe but never weird". The gang all laugh as Buffy hits Angel on the shoulder.
"Oh no Cordy you cant be talking you are in Xanders rack of strange women, you too Faith. And I believe you guys rank pretty high," Buffy insults.
"How rude I am not stranger then a praying mantis lady.or an Incan Mummy girl..or.or.Faith!"
"Oh no, now you did it! Faith shouts as she hurls some mashed potatoes towards Cordys face. "Cordy ducks at the last minute causing it to splat on Angels face.
"Potatoes look very good on you. Maybe we should add some gravy," Buffy suggests as she lifts the gravy boat.
"You wouldnt dare", Angel challenges.
"Oh I would", Buffy says as she pours gravy all down Angels face. Angel growls and picks up some chocolate cake and shoves it in Buffys face. Buffy wipes chocolate away from her shocked face.
"Whats the matter dear. I thought you said you liked chocolate."
Buffy just slyly grins and yells, "Food fight!" Food flies everywhere: the floor, the ceiling, the walls and most of all the people in the room.
***
"Come on Angel lets go get washed up", Buffy says as she drags a sloppy Angel upstairs to his room.
"You know we need to clean that", Angel comments.
"I know. Later", Buffy commands as she kisses Angel and starts to unbutton his shirt until Angel pushes her away.
"Buffy you know I love you with all my heart and I'm glad your back but we still cant do this. I still have my" Angel begins until Buffy quiets him with a kiss.
"Nope. No more curse,"
"But.how?"
"Do you think the whole balance of good and evil crap was enough to make me come back? No way! They had to throw in something for me. Even though you alone were enough for me", Buffy squeals as Angel twirls her around in the air.
"How about that shower now?" Angel suggests arching his brow.
""Do I even have to answer that or shall I just glare? Buffy quotes as Angel carries her into the bathroom. Their moans can be heard echoing throughout their room. Two soul mates joined finally as one. It only took both of their deaths, physically and emotionally,
The end. What did yah think?
